The Light of the West
by Jpena
Summary: Cersei cried more and tried to climb on the bed next to her mother. "You must listen Cersei. You are the oldest." Her lady mother was now shaking and had her eyes closed. The little girl opened her eyes when her mother grabbed her hand. "You have to take care of your brothers now. Jaime and Tyrion will need you."
1. Chapter 1

I don't own A Song of Ice and Fire or Game of Thrones TV show.

I can't let go of the show so I'm in the process of writing another Cersei centric fic.

Chapter 1

Cersei and Jaime prayed in the sept. They wept all day and prayed once more. It was useless. Their lady mother would die. They all knew that. That little monster ripped her apart. Father was in his study. He would not see any of them.

Aunt Genna grabbed her hand, "your mother wishes to see you both one last time." The woman said sadly. She was also heavy with child.

Jaime followed alongside. The eight year olds rushed to their mother's side.

Their lady mother was pale and sweaty. The room smelled of blood. Cersei knew this smell because she had once watched a hound kill a rabbit.

"Come here my sweetlings." They wept. Jaime was distraught. "You have to be strong now Jaime. Cersei and Tyrion need you now. You have to be brave for them. Promise, promise you will take care of them."

Her twin nodded, "I swear it mama. I do, but get better please, get better." Jaime cried and tried to hug her.

Their lady mother winced. "I don't have much time my cubs."

Cersei cried more and tried to climb on the bed next to her. "You must listen Cersei. You are the oldest." Her lady mother was now shaking and had her eyes closed.

The little girl opened her eyes when her mother grabbed her hand. "You have to take care of your brothers now. Jaime and Tyrion will need you."

Cersei cried and shook her head, "your baby brother needs you. You have to love him dearly for no one else will." Her lady mother opened her green eyes and cried once more.

Cersei could not stand it. Mother looked so weak and she wanted to please her. "I swear it mamma. I swear it."

Lady Joanna nodded, "you have to be true my sweetling. I shall know, think of me whenever you see your baby brother. My poor sweet Tyrion. Your papa thinks that is his fault."

Jaime shook his head, "it isn't. He's just a babe."

"Yes my love, a poor little cub that will be motherless. You have to sing to him Cersei." She said and shook once more.

"I've loved you three so very much." She said and smiled. Give your mamma one last kiss and then go to the nursery." They did so. Cersei lingered and cried bitterly. It was all Tyrion's fault.

Her mother grabbed her hand and tightened, "promise you'll love him." She said pitifully.

Cersei cried more, "I swear it mamma. I will, but please don't die. I'll make sure Jaime and Tyrion are good. Mamma please." Cersei cried once more but her mother didn't hear her anymore. Joanna Lannister was unconscious. She would die an hour later, feverish and scared for her children.

Aunt Genna ushered them into the nursery and presented their new baby brother. The babe was red and crying.

"It will die soon." Aunt Genna said and cradled him into her arms. She rocked him and Tyrion stopped crying so hard.

Cersei shook her head and hugged her aunt's middle. "No, he can't. Mamma said that I have to care for him." The girl was afraid, confused and wanted comfort. The older woman nodded, "Fine, sweetling. We will take care of him."

Cersei and Jaime stayed in the nursery, even after Genna had to leave to prepare for their mother's burial. Tyrion cried throughout the night. A nursemaid came in and began feeding Tyrion.

Cersei looked her face of disgust and wanted to scratch her face. "He is my baby brother and you have to care for him. Quit making that face or I will tell father to throw you out." She pouted.

The woman frowned but changed her face and cooed at the babe. Cersei and Jaime slept for a few hours, side by side. They were interrupted by Tyrion's cries here and there.

They were woken up by their aunt once more. "You have to change. We have to say goodbye to your mother."

"What about Tyrion?" Jaime asked as he peeked to see Tyrion sleeping peacefully.

"He is to stay here." The woman said and tried to herd them to their quarters. Cersei refused to move. "One of us has to stay to take care of him."

"Absolutely no." Aunt Genna said.

Cersei yelled and screamed when aunt Genna tried to take her away from the nursery. Tyrion woke up and cried along with her. Jaime then also cried, big heaving sobs.

The girl did not expect to see her father come in. He looked upset, his blond hair in disarray. He looked pale too. "What is the meaning of this?"

Jaime quieted. Cersei looked up to her father. "We cannot leave Tyrion by himself." She said with tears in her eyes.

"It will be fine." Her father said shortly and tried to usher her out of the room.

"You will dress and leave this room at once." Her father spat after a while of trying to get her to leave the room.

"Papa please. I will stay with Tyrion. I have to take care of him. Please papa, please." Her father was unmoved by her tears. She tried to hug his legs and pout, it worked with all the rest of the people. Maybe it would work for him too.

"You will dress and leave this room, and so will you." Her father pointed at Jaime.

Aunt Genna grabbed Jaime's hand and began walking. Cersei refused to take her hand or Jaime's. She frowned and clearly said, "no."

Her father looked at her and scowled. Cersei was always afraid of him. He was a stranger that mother said was their papa and that they had to love him. He was always busy and visited them when mother was there. He did not play with them like mamma did. She ran to the crib and to a crying Tyrion. She tried to pick him up but she felt her father picking her by the middle.

She yelled and kicked trying to get to the babe. "No." She tried to grab the crib and hold to it.

Tyrion cried and so did she. Jaime was too scared to cry. Father always said that boys did not cry, only babies and women were supposed to snivel.

There were no more tears, screams and tantrums that could keep her near Tyrion. Her father dragged her out of quarters.

"The nurse will stay with the babe." Aunt Genna tried to appease.

"No, I don't like her. She hates him. She made a face at him. I saw her, papa, let me go. I have to go back." She cried and tried to hit him so that she could go back to her little brother.

"You will behave yourself and dress. Your mother is gone. You will show her the respect that she deserves." Her father told her clearly.

Cersei cried but was numb when aunt Genna proceeded to dress her and prepare her. She combed her long hair and put it on braids. Cersei stood quiet but defiant at every single step of the way. Jaime stood by her side. They both wore black and followed aunt Genna to the sept. Cersei kept her eyes to the floor and thought about Tyrion who was by himself crying. All she could think about was that she needed to go back to the nursery and watch over Tyrion. Aunt Genna sat by her. The Septon proceeded with the ceremony. It was excruciating slow. Cersei and Jaime were forced to walk alongside their father and approach their mother's body. They painted the green eyes over dead eyes. Cersei looked at her and then squeezed Jaime's hand. Mother was gone, all they had now was each other and Tyrion.


	2. Chapter 2

Don't own any part of GoT or ASOIAF.

Thank you all for your feedback. Please keep reading and reviewing

Chapter 2

She ran back as fast as she could. Cersei had to look after Tyrion. Jaime followed her quickly. The nurse was there and she was yelling at Tyrion.

"LEAVE." Cersei shouted.

Jaime frowned when the woman laughed. He went ahead and kicked her on the shins. The woman attempted to hit him but in came their father.

"I do not want to see you near them again. Leave at once." His father said almost without moving his lips and the woman left in a hurry.

Cersei looked at the baby once more. She tried to lift him. "Let me show you." Her aunt Genna came in and picked Tyrion.

"I will have to leave for the capital in the morrow." Her father addressed her aunt.

"I am sure Tyrion, Jaime and Cersei will behave very well and will wait anxiously for your return." Genna said. Father then left without a second glance at them.

Cersei looked at Tyrion. "He looks very tired aunt Genna."

"He had a rough night. Now we have to wait for the new nurse. He smells, a servant should change him." Aunt Genna wrinkled her nose and went in search of one.

Cersei looked at Tyrion and smiled. Mother said to think of her whenever she looked at him. Cersei felt so afraid and sad. Jaime hugged her tight. "I will always take care of you and Tyrion. I swear it Cersei."

She hugged him back. Jaime tried to kiss her. Cersei however looked away because Tyrion began to cry in earnest.

Jaime tried to make faces at the baby. "It always cheers me up." He said trying to move the crib from side to side.

They did not have to wait long because in came aunt Genna with a young black-haired woman. "Hush little baby." She said and picked him up. Cersei looked at her suspiciously. She had large breasts, almost as large as aunt Genna's

Cersei looked at her with big green eyes. The woman unswaddled Tyrion. Cersei looked at the baby's legs. They were small when compared to his body, his arms were also short. Cersei watched as the woman cleaned and fed the babe.

"He will be quiet now. The little lady and lord can go to their quarters now." The woman smiled. Cersei shook her head. "No, I want to stay. I have to look after him." She said and looked pleadingly at the two women.

"Fine, but no tantrums out of you two." Aunt Genna said and left.

Cersei stayed and watched Tyrion while Jaime slept. The girl did not leave Tyrion's nursery for days. She was convinced that something would happen to Tyrion.

Jaime had to continue his lessons with the maesters. He was forced to leave in the mornings and came back late in the afternoons. Jaime was the heir, he had to learn how to read and do sword fighting. Cersei was good at reading and could pick up a sword. She sometimes wore his clothes and hid her hair to train. She had not done it since Tyrion was born. She also stopped sleeping in the same bed as Jaime. The girl was far too busy watching over Tyrion and the nursemaid.

Jaime did not say anything. Cersei knew that he loved Tyrion but also knew that Jaime found the baby boring. In true, Tyrion was a little boring. He slept, he cried, he crapped and then ate. Cersei however had no interest in leaving him anytime soon.

The little girl learned how to change his small clothes and bathe him. It was one of her favorite things; bathing Tyrion. She giggled for the first time. Tyrion was three weeks old. Tyrion cooed and giggled at the warm water.

The nursemaid, Marla smiled. "He is stronger now."

Cersei nodded, "he is not going to die."

Marla shook her head, "not anymore little lady. This cub eats very well and is strong." Cersei kissed his little forehead.

Cersei giggled at Tyrion and he giggled back.

"I like his eyes. I think they're pretty." Cersei said and sat by Marla.

"Do you want to hold him?" The woman smiled at her and asked.

Cersei looked at the baby and smiled. She nodded energetically. Marla walked to the bed where she sometimes slept. "Sit there m'lady."

Cersei did and waited. Marla sat by her and placed the baby on her arms. "He's heavy." Cersei grinned.

"He eats well, the little lord." The woman chuckled.

Cersei stood very still and watched as Tyrion looked at her. Cersei traced his face and smiled.

Marla stayed with Tyrion and her for nine months. She was heavily pregnant and had to go away. Cersei and Jaime watched over Tyrion and the maids who came and went.

Aunt Genna was busy with her own Frey baby. Jaime was forced to keep attempting to read but he confused his letters a lot. Cersei tried to help him but he was ashamed and stubborn. Jaime tried to have adventures with her like they used to but their heart wasn't in it anymore. They both knew that they had to take care of Tyrion.

Cersei knew that her baby brother wouldn't die. He was strong and very curious. His eyes were smart or so aunt Genna said.

She was singing to him as he tried to close his eyes. Cersei smiled and remembered what mother said about loving Tyrion. The little girl thought it would be hard but it wasn't. Her baby brother was a good baby when he was not crying at night anymore, well not every night at least.

Jaime entered the nursery one afternoon. Marla was not allowed to feed Tyrion anymore. Aunt Genna and the servants feed him other baby things. Cersei still spent most of her time in the nursery with him. The septa came every afternoon to teach her how to sow and do other lady things. The girl no longer switched with Jaime to train. Jaime frowned but followed along with her.

"Father is back and he brought people with him. A lady and two children." Cersei frowned. Father was not on her good side.

"Aunt Genna said we have to come down for dinner. She said that father will come and take you away if you don't come with me." Her brother added for good measure.

Cersei nodded and ran with him. She laughed when Jaime dared her to run to the door near the main hall. They knew better than to run straight to the main hall. It was still bitterly cold. Cersei was out of breadth but won. She smiled and Jaime grinned maniacally.

"I can't wait until Tyrion can run with us." He said and grabbed her hand. They walked slowly and composed themselves. There was a black haired lady, her skin was tanned, with two children by her side. They were also black-haired and a little dark. The boy looked their age while the girl looked like bit older but not by much.

"My children." Father said with a small smile. His tone was affable. Aunt Genna was also there.

Jaime bowed while Cersei curtsied. "This is my son, Jaime and my daughter Cersei." The girl listened attentively. The woman was Alyria Martell, princess of Dorne and those two children were Elia and Oberyn Martell, the younger prince and princess. They had dinner in the hall. Cersei fretted and wanted to go back to the nursery and look over Tyrion. She comforted herself with the knowledge that Tyrion had to be sound asleep.

The dinner happened quickly. Jaime pulled her to the side. "They want to see Tyrion." Jaime said hesitantly.

Cersei however smiled brightly. "We can sneak when the maid leaves for her dinner." Cersei smiled at Elia and grabbed her hand. They would be friends. They wanted to see her baby brother. Jaime grinned too. They said their goodbyes and agreed to meet later that night. Cersei would be in the nursery and would let them inside.

Cersei made sure that Tyrion looked nice. She sorted his hair and played with him so that he would smile when his visitors came.

Jaime knocked twice as they agreed and in came the three of them. Oberyn bounced on the balls of his feet. Elia sort of his behind her brother. Cersei led them to Tyrion's crib. The baby looked and kicked his feet.

Oberyn deflated and Elia sighed. "This is not a monster. He is just a baby." Oberyn said a little angry.

Cersei and Jaime frowned identically, "Of course he is not a monster."

"But the all said that Tywin Lannister had a monster. This whole journey was a waste." The boy said angrily.

"You have to go now." Jaime said and pulled Oberyn out. Cersei did the same with Elia who began crying.

Cersei did not cry. She was upset that they would call Tyrion a monster. She remembered her mother's words. "No one would love him." Cersei pulled Tyrion from his crib and hugged him.

"I love you Tyrion. I really do." She said and sang to him until the maid came back and made her go to her quarters.

The Martells left after three days. Cersei ignored them as much as she could but eventually Jaime made her play with them. They played hide and seek. Elia was not so bad. Cersei didn't care much for her though. She was always crying and Oberyn was even more spoiled than they were. Cersei still spent a lot of time with Tyrion. Jaime was easily bored and needed to be outdoors but Cersei could be inside with the baby all day just to make sure that he was fine.

Father left a week after the Martells did. Cersei and Jaime were asked to come into his solar the afternoon when he was to leave for King's Landing.

They came in hand in hand. "Have a seat." Father said without looking away from his scrolls.

They sat in front of father's huge wooden desk. "You are not doing well with your studies." Jaime hung his head.

"And you have to stop neglecting your duties." His father then looked at her.

Cersei blinked, "I have to take care of Tyrion."

Her father frowned, "he has nurses and maids to take care of him. You will resume your classes with the septas full time."

"But I won't have time to watch over Tyrion. I have to sing to him. Mamma said I have to do that." Cersei replied almost pleadingly.

Her father frowned and looked away. "Your mother is gone. She does not see, does not feel and does not hear any longer."

Cersei's eyes filled with tears and she hung her head too. The little girl was forced to listen to her father go on about family and duty.

Cersei went back to the nursery that night and kissed Tyrion's head, "don't worry Tyrion. Jaime and I will be with you every day." She promised and kissed his soft blond baby hair again before leaving.


	3. Chapter 3

I don't own Game of Thrones

Thank you, please read and review

Chapter 3

Tyrion could not walk. He was almost two years and could not walk. Her father was furious when her baby brother could not walk. She heard him rant about it to aunt Genna.

Cersei worried because Tyrion could not sleep through the night. "hurts, hurts." He would repeat and touch his head. Aunt Genna rocked him. Cersei sang but nothing worked. She cried alongside the baby. "Go to your room. You are old enough. I do not need your crying." Aunt Genna snapped at her. The little girl left crying. Jaime consoled her and promised that Tyrion would be fine but he did not know that.

As it happened Tyrion was very sick. Cersei and Jaime had the sickness too but they were stronger. Tyrion shivered and cried for a week. Cersei cried in her quarters. Aunt Genna forbade her to leave her rooms. Jaime was isolated as well. She could finally visit the baby the eighth day. Cersei was tired but smiled hugely when she saw Tyrion on his cot. He stood up and tried to walk to her.

"I told your father, all Tyrion needed was some time." Aunt Genna clapped and kissed Tyrion on his cheek. Tyrion babbled and played with her. Jaime joined them in their play. He looked better too. Tyrion grinned and tried to take a few more steps. Cersei celebrated him. Her smile froze when she saw father walk to the room.

"I see you three are well." He addressed them. "I leave for the capital in the morrow. Jaime comes with me." Jaime nodded. She would have plead to leave with him but now she had Tyrion to think about.

"When will I be back sir?" Jaime asked.

"A week or so." He said. "Go with your aunt. Genna make sure he packs leathers for hunting." Father left without a glance.

Cersei was not bothered by it. She did not like her father that much. She played with Tyrion and combed his unruly hair, when he stood still. She did not forget how her father never looked at Tyrion or how he dismissed her with only a glance. It did not matter. All she needed was Jaime and Tyrion.

Jaime hugged her tight when he left. "I will bring you and Tyrion something pretty. What would you like Cersei?"

She frowned, "a pet." Tyrion couldn't speak much but he babbled and made hands at father who looked away as if angry. Cersei tried to lift Tyrion but he was getting heavy for her.

Her brother was away for two weeks. Tyrion could now take some steps more surely. He babbled more and more. Cersei was very proud of him. Tyrion was very smart. He began to name colors, her. He recognized who father was, who aunt Genna was and who the maids were. Cersei caught him calling one them mamma. She grabbed his chubby arm and squeezed. "She is not our mamma. Our mamma is dead Tyrion. She would not like you to call anyone but her mamma."

Tyrion cried and rubbed his arms. "Mean Cessi." He babbled.

Cersei frowned. "I'm not mean. Don't call Lina mamma again."

Jaime came back without their father and he brought presents. "It's for you and Tyrion." Jaime brought them a cat.

Tyrion was delighted. "Cat, cat, cat." He chanted.

"What should we name him Tyrion?" Jaime asked and tickled him.

"Owange." He said delightedly.

"He is orange but we can't name him that." Cersei laughed. Tyrion crossed his arms. "Owange."

Orange meowed and that was his name. Life continued for the Lannister siblings. Their father made an appearance here and there. Tyrion was almost four when father decided that Jaime would squire at Crakehall. Cersei and Tyrion missed him terribly when he was gone. He would come every two weeks and the three of them could be seen running around and exploring Casterly Rock. Cersei always liked to play hide and seek and team up with Tyrion to sneak on Jaime. She loved when Jaime came to visit, Tyrion was far more agreeable and they had fun. Jaime taught them how to swim and Cersei taught Tyrion how to read his letters. Her baby brother was very smart.

Her relative happiness changed when she became a woman. She was thirteen when she felt a pain in her belly. She thought nothing of it and went to bed. She woke up wet and thought that she had an accident when she noticed that it was not urine but blood. Cersei let out a piercing scream. Tyrion's chamber was the closest. He was six and paled when he saw so much blood. "I'll get aunt Genna. Don't move, someone stabbed you." He said with tears in his eyes and left quickly.

Cersei was hysterical looking for the stab wound when aunt Genna came in. She laughed and held her. Cersei tried to kick her away.

Tyrion waddled to her and hugged her, "I don't want you to die Cersei. You are my sister and only you love me. I will not be bad. I promise Cersei, I will write all my letters and I will not make fun of Jaime when he reads or when you say silly things." He cried and looked up to her.

Cersei cried too. She was sure, she would bleed to death. Aunt Genna shook her head. "You truly are something." She said. "Go to bed, your sister will be fine."

"No, please. Don't make me. I have to be here with her. Cersei would be by my side if I was dying." Tyrion said. Cersei held him and kissed his head.

Aunt Genna shook her head. "Fine, but sit there quietly and step away from your sister." She pointed to a stall near the bed.

"Stay there. Tyrion and I will fetch the maids to draw you a bath." Her aunt said and left with her baby brother who seemed reluctant to leave.

Cersei felt sticky and disgusting. Aunt Genna came in with two girls, who were maybe a little older than her. "These will be your handmaidens from now on. Ilsa and Rae."

"Where is Tyrion?" Cersei asked still thinking that she was going to die. She would ask for parchment to write a goodbye letter to Jaime.

"I sent him to bed. This is not a place for him." Aunt Genna replied.

Cersei's eyes welled with tears. "You may go to him once I have explained everything."

Aunt Genna had the Rae and Ilsa strip the bedding and change the sheets. "Come with me Cersei."

They walked to the bath houses. Her aunt ordered her to undress. Cersei felt self-conscious and covered her nonexistent breasts. "Don't be silly." Her aunt waved her hands away and helped her remove the night dress which was bloodied.

"You have your moon blood Cersei. Every month, you will bleed." Aunt Genna explained carefully and plainly.

"Now you must learn how babies are made." The woman said while she bathed and soaped her. "Your husband and only your husband will place his member there and make you as his wife. No one else must touch you there. He will take your virginity on your wedding night after the bedding ceremony. Your moon blood will stop once you are with child. Now I do not want you to worry if your moon blood does not come every month before you have lain with a man. Sometimes young girls do not get their courses every moon."

"Will it hurt?" Cersei asked, she felt pain inside her belly and her back now.

"Laying with a man?" The woman asked.

Cersei nodded.

"Yes it will but only for the first time if he is gentle and kind." The woman replied. Cersei felt the warm water soothe her.

"You will have your flower for three to five days. There will be pain sometimes, it depends. You will have to wear rags with your undergarments and avoid extreme physical activity as you will smell from time to time." Her aunt instructed her and dressed her.

Aunt Genna only had boys and the maids did her hair. She attempted to braid her hair. Cersei humored her. She would undo them and braid her hair herself once she went into Tyrion's room.

Cersei learned a lot that night. Aunt Genna hugged her while they walked back to her quarters. She dismissed her newly appointed handmaidens. "This is a good thing sweetling. Your father has looked forward to this day since your birth. You will have babies and be queen."

Cersei frowned, "How can I be queen?"

The older woman smiled in complicity, "you must not tell anyone but your father has given your hand in marriage to the crown prince."

"Prince Rhaegar?" Cersei asked a little dumbly.

"Of course child. He has no siblings and your father is hand of the King. He is paving the way for you to become queen." Aunt Genna said.

Cersei frowned, "I don't want to leave the Rock." She said quickly.

"We all have to leave the nest someday." Cersei thought of replying that she didn't. Instead, she, her Frey husband and Frey children lived off Casterly Rock and its rents. The girl chose to stay quiet, aunt Genna was kind that night.

"I don't want to leave Tyrion." Cersei said honestly.

"He can come with you. No one questions the queen." She continued and tucked her in.

Cersei frowned, "the king is more powerful. He is the ruler of the Seven Kingdoms." The girl said with finality.

Aunt Genna smiled, "Yes, but a smart woman can make a man listen to her. A good and smart woman can make any man fall in love with her. You will be beautiful Cersei, and men are fools who fall and do anything for a beautiful woman."

Cersei nodded, not really understanding everything that her aunt told her. She waited until her aunt left to get up from her bed and move to Tyrion's quarters. She tiptoed until she entered the room. Tyrion had candles around him. He was reading a book, Orange by his side. "I have told you to not read so late at night. You will ruin your eyes." She admonished.

Tyrion usually argued her until she was bored. Her little brother however, just stood up and hugged her again. "I thought you were going to die." He said in a whisper.

"I am fine. It will be fine Tyrion. I will never leave you, never." She said and smiled.

Tyrion took it in face value. She was with him every day. Cersei was always there, taking care of him, reminding him to bathe, clean, and do his work. Tyrion understood that Jaime and her were the kindest of them. Father barely looked at him and when he did, it was to show his disdain, berate or lecture him. He lectured the three of them whenever he was in Casterly Rock but it was always Tyrion who suffered through the worse of it. Cersei was powerless to stop it. If she were queen, no one would make Tyrion feel bad. They all would have to answer to her. Everyone would know that he was protected. No one would call her baby brother an imp, or a monster. How she hated all of those who dared call him that.

It broke Tyrion little by little she knew that and no amounts of hugs and baby kisses would make up for that. Her baby brother knew that he was little and would not grow as much as other boys. He asked her a year ago why his legs were funny looking. She did not have a kind answer. It was father who cleared it for him. Tyrion scowled for a week and pushed her when she tried to help him carry some heavy books. "Just because I am a dwarf doesn't mean I can't do it by myself."

Cersei was taken aback, "who told you that?"

"Father and uncle Kevan. I asked him." Tyrion said and did not cry. He never cried anymore. He was not a baby.

Tyrion was six and was discovering that their world was not kind. Jaime and her tried to shield him but it was useless. Jaime was away for longer periods of time and Cersei's reassurances were not enough.

Cersei slept by Tyrion and sang to him. Cersei vowed that she would be queen. She would rule and no one would dare hurt Tyrion or Jaime no one. She fell asleep soon enough.


	4. Chapter 4

I don't own Game of Thrones.

Please read and review

Chapter 4

It was her fourteenth nameday. Cersei was very happy. Jaime would come and visit and uncle Gerion was back from one of his many voyages and would present them with gifts. The only damper was the fact that father was home and preparing Lannisport for the Tourney in prince Viserys' name. She was ecstatic that queen Rhaella had given birth to a baby boy. It meant that she would be queen. Ever since that night when she had her first moon blood, Cersei began to think about prince Rhaegar as hers. She wrote him letters that she kept in her chambers and searched for every piece of writing about him. She asked Jaime about the prince. Her twin was in the capital much more than she ever was. Cersei never met prince Rhaegar but she knew him to be handsome, kind and good hearted. She was infatuated with the idea of being queen, bearing his children, singing songs and punishing those who wronged them.

Cersei imagined her life as queen. She would love Rhaegar, he would sing her songs and win tourneys in her name. She would be his queen of love and beauty. Cersei would give him sons and daughters, all silver headed and beautiful. Tyrion would be by her side. He would be protected, well taken care of. Jaime would be lord of the rock and they would visit each other. It would be perfect.

The girl looked at herself in the mirror. She had what aunt Genna would call the beginnings of a womanly shape. She was slender now. Cersei smiled, her teeth were aligned and her hair was golden. She knew that she was pretty, everyone said so. She dressed with a green dress and wore her emerald earrings and necklace. She went to check on Tyrion but did not find him in his quarters.

Cersei broke her fast alone. The servants and small folk congratulated her. She had not seen her aunt or Jaime yet. She wondered when he would be home.

Her father appeared in the hall. Cersei stood up, she expected a kiss. She always got a kiss on her name days. Tywin came to her and kissed her forehead, "you are more beautiful every day." Cersei smiled happily, sometimes, she loved her father dearly.

"Come with me, I have a gift." He said and offered his arm.

Cersei took it and walked with her father. They went into his solar. "Have a seat." Cersei did so and waited.

"These are for you." Her father offered her a chest. "Open it."

Cersei did so and was surprised, inside there were all sorts of jewels. "They were your mother's. Now they are yours." Her father looked away. He must have known how important these were for her.

Cersei wiped a few tears, "thank you, papa." She said and stood up. Cersei hugged him. Her father was stiff for a second and then kissed her forehead once more. "All I do is for you and your brothers, for our family. Always remember that." He said gently. It was the first time he spoke to her so softly. He always lectured them.

"Now go. I will have the maids take the chest to your quarters. Your brother will be here any moment now." He said and went back to his parchments.

The girl walked out the solar and smiled happily. She found Jaime in the stables. He hugged her and kissed her cheek. "You are the most beautiful sister." He said happily. "I brought you something." He winked and gave her a painting. Cersei unrolled it and saw that it was them and Tyrion. "It's beautiful." She said.

"I have your gift too." She said and took his hand. She took him to the farthest stall. "He's nameless." Cersei pointed to a white stallion.

"He's very handsome. Thank you sister." Jaime was in awe. "He will be my pride and joy."

Jaime and Cersei walked back to castle hand in hand. Cersei teased him a bit. Jaime rolled his eyes and told her all about his adventures as a squire in Crakehall. They spent an hour talking and telling each other tales.

"Where is Tyrion?" Jaime asked.

Cersei frowned, "I have not seen him all day. I checked his quarters, the libraries and the kitchens." They decided to look for him but Tyrion did not turn up.

"What if something happened to him?" She fretted and the worst scenes occurred in her head.

Jaime shook his head, "nothing happened to him. Look, he's right there." Tyrion was with a book, reading in the courtyard.

"You have not wished me a good name day." Jaime said and hugged him.

Tyrion laughed. "I did not know you were here. Nobody told me." He looked at Cersei.

"It is my nameday too." Cersei frowned.

"I gave you my gift." He said.

Jaime arched an eyebrow, "what did he give you?"

Cersei walked ahead, "he will be perfectly well behaved for a whole week. He will do and listen to my every command."

Jaime shook his head. The siblings spent more time playing hide and seek for Tyrion's sake. Their little brother did not have any playmates other than them two. Tyrion finally tired. "Shall we get lunch? Something light, we have a feast tonight." Cersei said.

Tyrion nodded and followed them. "Father is here." Jaime said warningly.

Tyrion slumped, "I had hoped that he would remain in the capital."

Cersei frowned, "of course not. He is organizing the tourney for the king and the new prince." Tyrion stopped on his tracks. "I don't like it when he's home."

Jaime remained quiet. "It will be fine. You just have to behave Tyrion."

Their little brother frowned, "I always behave. Cersei, tell him I do. It's just that father does not like me. He hates me, everyone knows it so."

Cersei shook her head, "that's not true. He loves you, just like he loves Jaime and me."

Tyrion rolled his eyes, "sure Cersei." He said and waddled away.

Cersei changed the subject. They spent the afternoon receiving gifts. Tyrion was escorted to his quarters to start his lessons. Father had a strict policy of five days of studies and the only exception was name days. Tyrion went away and rejoined them at the feast. Father was in attendance and so was uncle Kevan, aunt Genna. Uncle Gerion was not there yet. The Lannister children loved uncle Gerion. He was their favorite. Jaime and Tyrion loved his tales. Cersei loved that he called her beautiful and gave her trinkets here and there.

Tyrion ate his food patiently but tugged at her dress sleeve. "Where is my uncle?"

Uncle Gerion arrived after the feast. Cersei was about to herd Tyrion to his quarters, "you have to sleep." She said tiredly.

"We can wait for a few more minutes." He said while yawning. They were in one of the drawing rooms.

Cersei scowled, "you promised to behave. I shall be very sad if you do not do as you are told."

"But Cersei..." He said and went to her. He looked about to be in tears.

"Fine but only five minutes and then you go to bed." She said firmly. Jaime grinned at him.

The five minutes came and went. Cersei stood up, "time for bed."

Tyrion reluctantly stood up and then brightened when uncle Gerion came through the door. Tyrion ran to him. Uncle Gerion was the tallest Lannister. He was good natured and kind to the three of them.

"My favorite Lannister." Uncle said and lifted Tyrion high in the air. Tyrion giggled and hugged him.

"I missed you. What did you bring me?" He said quickly.

"Greedy little nephew." The man laughed and set him down.

"My lady." He bowed to her and kissed her hands.

Gerion clapped Jaime on the back and sat on one of the chairs.

"His solar with uncle Kevan. Should I get him?" Jaime offered.

"No need, I will go to them." He said and then smiled.

"I come with gifts for you two." He said and offered them.

"A sword for a knight." Uncle Gerion gave Jaime a beautiful sword. Her brother smiled from ear to ear.

Her uncle then looked at her and offered her parcel, Cersei opened it and found beautiful fabric, so delicate, "the finest silk for a dress." Cersei smiled and kissed her uncle.

Tyrion looked down. "You don't think I would forget my favorite Lannister." Her uncle said and took out a book.

"I wrote it for you. It has all the legends and travels I could remember." He said.

Tyrion smiled. "Thank you nuncle. He waddled and hugged him tight. I will read it every night."

"Now, off to bed the three of you." Cersei tucked Tyrion and kissed his forehead.

"I love you Cersei. Happy name day." He said and kissed her cheek.

Cersei kissed his forehead, "I love you too baby brother."

The next few days were a haze of activity. Casterly Rock and Lannisport prepared for the royal's visit. Prince Viserys was not old enough to make the travel. He would stay in King's Landing with queen Rhaella. It would only be the King and the crown prince. Cersei was tightly wound with coiled excitement. She would finally meet her prince. She had to be beautiful and graceful for him.

Tyrion spent most of his time with Jaime and reading the book uncle Gerion brought him. Cersei was fine with that. She needed to focus on impressing the prince. She tried on at least five and ten dresses before she settled on a Lannister red one and matching golden jewelry. She would wear that when she met the prince. Cersei was walking in clouds. She dreamed and pictured her life with Rhaegar. Father would be proud of her. She fantasized about her wedding ceremony and blushed when she thought of the bedding ceremony and wedding night.

The girl brushed her hair absentmindedly when aunt Genna entered the quarters. "What will you be wearing for the Tourney?" The older woman asked her. Cersei gave her a detailed summary of the seven dresses she chose.

"Do not wear the red one just yet. Save that one for the end of the tourney. There will be a wonderful announcement." Her aunt said with a sly smile.

Cersei's eyes rounded, "my engagement to the prince."

Aunt Genna nodded and hugged her, "you must be perfect Cersei. The King has to love you."

"What about the prince? Shouldn't he love me as well?" Cersei asked as her aunt played with her long hair.

"How could he not? You are the fairest maiden in the seven kingdoms. He'd be a fool if he did not take a liking to you." Aunt Genna said.

Cersei smiled prettily. "Everything will be perfect. I know it so." The girl dreamed of feasts, weddings and children that night.

The day finally arrived. Cersei wore a light blue dress and a delicate sapphire necklace. She had Rae style her hair in two twin braids. She thought it looked good. She went to get Tyrion out of bed. Him and Jaime stayed up too late the day before. The girl caressed Tyrion's blond hair. "Wake up. You have to get ready. Father will call for us soon. You have to be on your best behavior."

Tyrion growled, "No, I don't." He tried to burrow deeper into his bed. Cersei was having none of it. "You will wake up Tyrion. This is very important and you need to behave." She took the pillows one by one and threw them to the floor. Tyrion glared sleepily at her.

"Father does not even want to see me there. He's ashamed that I am a dwarf." The boy said and turned.

Cersei grabbed his arm and pulled him roughly to the floor. "Never call yourself that again. You are Tyrion Lannister, one of Tywin Lannister's sons and heirs. Our family is important and you will conduct yourself in that manner."

She combed his hair for a bit. "The maids will come to bathe and dress you." She said and kissed his cheek. "You behave; I do not want to hear any complaints."

Tyrion frowned. "Fine but I don't like it."

Cersei rolled her eyes, "plant a smile on your face. They all must think that you are an agreeable boy, even if you are insufferable."

"You are quite horrid too." He said and smiled a little.

Cersei left the room and went in search of her twin. Jaime was dressed and ready. He offered his arm. "Did Tyrion wake up easily?"

"He did not, you should have forced him to sleep much earlier." Cersei reproached him.

"It's fine Cerse." Jaime then walked with her to the great hall. Cersei had her place in the high table and waited for Jaime to sit down. All the Lannisters were in attendance, even uncle Tygett decided to come.

Tyrion came in with father. They both had frowns on their faces and sat as far from each other as possible. Cersei would have to ask Tyrion what happened. The Lannisters broke their fast and scattered to wait for the royals.

"You three come with me." Their father motioned and walked to his solar. The Lannister children sat in a row Jaime to the farthest left, Cersei and Tyrion. Their father in front of them.

"I need you three to be on your best behavior. Jaime, I heard you plan to compete in the Tourney."

"Yes father." Jaime replied with his eyes fixed on his knees.

"I will not have you shame our family name." Their father drawled. "You will compete well or not compete at all."

Jaime looked up defiantly. "I am ready lord father."

Tywin nodded, he then looked at Cersei, his eyes softened imperceptibly. "You are the lady of Casterly Rock and will be our hostess."

"Yes father, all is ready for their majesties' arrival and their parties." Cersei said proudly. She worked hard alongside aunt Genna to have all ready.

Their father then looked at Tyrion. "No chasing dogs, playing with the handmaidens or hiding in the dungeons. No fires in there." He said reproachfully.

Cersei looked down. It was uncle Gerion's fault, him and those dammed books that he gave her little brother. Tyrion was obsessed with dragons. He set fires in the bowels of Casterly Rock and watched the embers. Cersei tried to stop him but Jaime managed to encourage him and provide material for his burnings.

"Yes father." Tyrion looked down the entire time. Cersei noted that he had his hands balled up. She placed a hand over his fist and her brother relaxed.


	5. Chapter 5

I don't own Game of Thrones

Please read and review

Chapter 5

Father lined them up for the royals' arrival. Jaime would be presented first as he was the heir, even though she was older. They heard the horses and carriages. The kingsguard escorted a carriage.

Jaime gasped when he saw The knights in white. Tyrion was also impressed, he disagreed with his leathers. It was the most beautiful summer day. Cersei was not impressed when king Aerys came out of his litter. The king looked like an old man but he couldn't be. Father and him were the same age. King Aerys had long whitish hair, he was pale, thin and his nails were longish and had a yellow hue to them. Her first impression was that her father looked kinglier that the king.

Her lord father bowed and greeted the king. "This is my household your grace." He presented Jaime first and then her.

The king did not pay much attention to her or Jaime. He however took an interest to Tyrion. "So this is the famous Imp of Casterly Rock. The monster that ripped beautiful Joanna apart." The king gave Tyrion a nasty smile. Her baby brother just kept his eyes on the floor. Father looked briefly bothered but soldiered on. Once all of her uncles and aunts were introduced the party moved to the castle. Cersei stiffened and concentrated on Rhaegar. Cersei wanted to see the prince.

She was unlucky, as the prince arrived the following day and was escorted to his quarters without any public fanfare. Cersei followed the routine of the previous day and prepared to wake Tyrion but he was already awake.

"We will have the best seats." Cersei said cheerfully.

Tyrion nodded and gave her his hand. She knew that the king's comments cut him deeply. He heard the term Imp before but only from small folk, never from a lord, much less the king himself.

Cersei watched the melee with some disgust but Tyrion seemed to enjoy the violence. She shook her head. The king looked bored and talked to her father in a hurried way. Cersei looked to the side and saw him. Prince Rhaegar. He was absolutely beautiful. His hair was long but white blond. His eyes were lilac and he wore a small smile when he addressed his father. She did not hear his voice but she knew it was beautiful like the rest of him. Cersei was distracted from then on. She tracked him throughout the tourney. She was in love and knew that he would be hers.

Tyrion tugged at her sleeve. "Cersei, father will be upset if we do not go for the feast." Cersei nodded and they walked to the high table.

Jeyne and Melara caught up to her. They were her companions, well father insisted on them. Cersei did not care much for either of them. She particularly disliked Melara, who thought she would marry Jaime. How dull she was. Melara could not marry her brother, she was too lowly for that.

"There is a witch that can tell our future." Jeyne began.

Cersei frowned, "I already know my future." She said confidently.

"She is too scared. We will go by ourselves." Melara taunted.

"Fine, I will go with you." She said quickly.

The king made some japes at Tyrion's expense that night. Father excused her and Tyrion. "I feel a little sick. I am sure Tyrion is exhausted with today's excitement." Father nodded and they left. Cersei forgot about the prince and held Tyrion that night.

"You are the smartest boy I know." She said as she combed his hair that night.

"I don't want to go to my quarters. Can I stay with you Tyrion?" She said gently.

Tyrion shrugged, "it is fine Cersei. I know what I am. You do not have to stay." Cersei nodded. "I will get my nightdress and come back." She had planned to go with Jeyne and Melara but decided against it. Tyrion needed her.

Jeyne and Melara awaited for her, "Why are you in your nightdress? We have to go through the woods to find the witch?"

"I am not going." Cersei said and stepped aside.

"What a coward." Jeyne said in turn. Cersei could not care a fig about what the girls thought. All she cared about was the hurt in Tyrion's eyes.

Cersei came back and found Tyrion reading about dragons once again. "Cersei, tell me about mother?"

Cersei smiled, "Well, you know she had blonde hair, was kind, and she was tall, almost as tall as father. She was a proper lady and she made father smile."

Tyrion nodded, "tell me about her eyes." He said.

"They were green, but not like mine or Jaime's. Hers were like your green eye, bright beautiful emerald green." Cersei said happily.

Tyrion began to cry. Her baby brother did not cry easily. Cersei hugged him tight. "The king said that I ripped her apart. She was good and I'm a monster, I killed our mamma."

Cersei shushed him and caressed his back. "Mamma loved you very much. You were just a baby Tyrion. You did not kill her, I promise you."

Tyrion cried softly, "father hates me. I know he does and I thought it was because I'm little but I think it's also because I killed her. You said she was the only one that made him smile."

Cersei kicked herself for saying that. "Father loves you in his own way. He is stubborn and stupid for not loving you like I and Jaime do."

Tyrion sobbed and then quieted. Cersei sang to him and made sure to tell him that she loved him and that mother loved him very much even if the world did not.

She was a ball of excitement by the last day of the tourney. Prince Rhaegar defeated many knights, her uncle Gerion included. Jaime did quite well for a squire and her father was proud of that. Jaime went away that day before the tourney ended as he had to go to Crakehall and then King's Landing. Tyrion hugged Jaime tight. "I will be back before you know it."

That same night, prince Rhaegar delighted the Lannisters with his harp. Cersei thought it was the most beautiful thing she heard and seen. She cried of happiness that night. She dreamed of their wedding.

The final day of the tourney finally came. Cersei and Tyrion watched as prince Rhaegar tried to unhorse ser Arthur Dayne. He failed. Ser Dayne crowned his sister Ashara the queen of love and beauty. Cersei thought that Ashara was pretty but not so much as her.

The feast was a grand affair. Father looked dour and unsatisfied while the king looked very cheerful. Cersei waited anxiously for the announcement that would never come. She thought clearly that it would come after supper but nothing. She looked at aunt Genna intently and she seemed as confused as she was. Cersei did was intrigued and tried to catch father's eyes but she was left with nothing.

Cersei went into bed that night and waited for aunt Genna. She never came. Cersei did not sleep well. She thought of every single possibility. The engagement would be announced in the capital. Maybe father wanted her to grow up a little more. It made no sense. Cersei had her moon blood regularly now. She would not marry now; everyone knew that they would wait until she was seventeen. She would have to be in court for at least a year before the small folk and lords saw her as a princess. The wedding in itself would have to be planned and that would take another year.

The royals left the following morning and there was no understanding. Cersei went in search of her father. Aunt Genna actively avoided her now. She knew because she went to her quarters and she made the maid say that she indisposed.

Cersei had to take matters into her own hands. She knocked on the door and entered when there was no answer.

"What is it?" Father asked without looking from his work.

Cersei stood high and proud, "Why wasn't my engagement to prince Rhaegar announced?"

Tywin looked up at her, "because there is no engagement to be made. I offered your name and the king refused your hand. We are not suitable enough for the prince."

Cersei felt the world tilt. She paled, "but I am to be queen." 

"Not right now Cersei. Go find some useful employment. I am far too busy to entertain you." Her father hissed.

The girl ran out of there and went into her quarters. She wept, Cersei did not understand. She thought of the past days and could not find a fault. She was perfect, it all was good but the king refused her. Maybe she needed to be bolder, maybe she had to go to prince Rhaegar and made him love her.

Cersei cried into her pillow. It was all ruined. She would never be queen. Cersei wept and refused to eat her lunch. Tyrion came to see her and he tried to comfort her. "Cersei, please tell me what happened."

Cersei shook her head; she was ashamed to tell him. He would think that it was because of him. Cersei could not tell him because she was afraid. She was scared that if she said it out loud it would be true. A horrid, a truly horrid part of her believed that it was because of her Tyrion. She felt pain and would not let herself think that.

"Nothing Tyrion. It's nothing, just be good for me and give me a kiss." Tyrion did, he kissed her forehead. "I'll stay with you, you can cry all you want and I will hold you."

Cersei nodded and cried bitterly. Tyrion tried to sing to her and she smiled when he made funny lyrics. "I wish Jaime were here." She said. "I wish we all were together and mother were here with us."

Tyrion played with her hair, "me too." But Cersei knew that he only said that to make her happy. She knew that Tyrion did not remember their mother and that he did not care for Tywin Lannister.


	6. Chapter 6

I don't own Game of Thrones

Please read and review

Chapter 6

Cersei lost her appetite for weeks. She cried herself to bed. Tyrion and aunt Genna worried. Cersei lashed out. No one would call her charitable or nice to her servants. She was in a pissy mood and only Tyrion was spared from her comments and nasty looks. Aunt Genna took the brunt of it. Cersei could not care less, in her eyes, aunt Genna was at fault. It made no sense but she had to find someone guilty and it could not be Tyrion and father was too powerful. Aunt Genna made a perfect target and so did Ilsa and Rae, her handmaidens. She also punished Jeyne.

"Why are you still here?" Cersei asked her one night.

Jeyne was quiet.

Cersei looked around, "they found Melara in the woods. She's dead."

Jeyne trembled but was mute. "Did you two find Maggy the Frog?" Cersei asked.

The girl burst into sobs and fled. Cersei frowned but got a sick pleasure from watching her cry.

Tyrion checked her worst impulses. If she focused on him, she could be decent to almost everyone. Cersei did not care enough to torment Jeyne any further.

Cersei tried to find ways to keep busy so she took over a lot of aunt Genna's roles. It worked perfectly since aunt Genna stopped being the acting lady in Casterly Rock.

Three months after prince Viserys' tournament aunt Genna announced that she was with child, now this was strange as her Frey husband was only present for the first day in the tourney and was badly injured for the rest of it.

It was clear that father had the same suspicions as Cersei for he asked her to leave the Rock. Cersei overheard aunt Genna crying one night. "After all we have done for his children. He just asks me to leave. He said he was disappointed; can you believe him?" She shrieked.

Long story short, Aunt Genna was banished to the riverlands with her Frey husband and children.

Cersei took more of a role in the household and lands. Father still had uncle Kevan who managed the duties but Cersei ran the Rock. She busied herself with day to day operations and even sat with uncle Kevan when he ran his meetings about the ins and outs of Casterly Rock.

It was three months before Tyrion's name day. Uncle Gerion was to sail off somewhere exotic. Father was home from King's Landing for a few days. Tyrion and her were to go to King's Landing for a few weeks.

Uncle Gerion came to say his goodbyes. They were all in the hall. Uncle Kevan, father, Tyrion, and her.

"I will sail in the early morning." He said. The Lannisters had a feast in his name.

"I had hoped that Genna would be here." Uncle Gerion pointed out as they finished eating and went to the drawing room.

"She is far too advanced in her pregnancy." Her father said as they sat to have some family time.

Uncle Gerion sighed and played with them as uncle Kevan and father discussed Casterly Rock.

"I hear that you are setting fires in the dungeons" their uncle mentioned to Tyrion.

"I like fire." Tyrion grinned.

"Did you enjoy the books I got you?" The man asked him.

Cersei nodded, "you know he did."

Uncle Gerion laughed. "Well, I will get you something better. Whatever you want."

Tyrion's eyes lit up, "whatever I want."

"That is correct. You need only say your heart's desire." Uncle Gerion said.

Tyrion smiled widely, "I want a dragon."

Uncle Gerion laughed heartily.

Tyrion smiled. "please, please. It doesn't have to be a big dragon. It can be small like me."

Uncle Gerion hugged him tight, "oh you truly are my favorite Lannister."

Uncle Kevan noticed them. "What is so funny?"

Uncle Gerion kept on laughing, "you'll never guess what our nephew wants for his name day."

Cersei rolled her eyes, "What do you want Tyrion?" Father asked him.

"I want a dragon father." Tyrion said.

Her father shook his head, "Well, your uncle can certainly not bring you that."

"I will take care of it. I promise I will. Cersei can help me. I will only let it burn bad people and those who are mean to me."

Uncle Kevan laughed too. Father frowned and Cersei did too. "I told you dragons don't exist."

"They do. They do, uncle, tell her they do. I read the books, and it's not only his books. I read them in the library too."

Father fought a small smile. It was not mocking, it was a little proud, not that father could bring himself to say it or express it.

"Tyrion, the last dragon that existed died more than a hundred years ago and it was not bigger than your cat." Their father said.

Tyrion deflated. Uncle Gerion noticed, "How about I bring you horses? Or a lion, your own lion."

Her baby brother nodded and stayed quiet for the rest of the night. Cersei knew that it bothered him that dragons were extinct. He chose to sleep by himself even after she offered to stay with him.

"I am not a babe." He said and turned after she kissed him good night.

Cersei knew he cried himself to sleep because his eyes were puffy and he refused to correct her when she used a word wrong.

Cersei's pain lessened and then she had hope and good news. She would go to the capital and stay there for a few weeks. It would be enough time to make a good impression and see Rhaegar.

Cersei learned that Jaime would be in the capital as well. Ser Arthur Dayne knighted Jaime after the defeat of the Kingswood Brotherhood. Cersei arrived to the capital and foolishly clung to the hope that Rhaegar would marry her. Their engagement announcement was not made but there was no other girl announced to marry him either.

The capital was just as Cersei remembered, noisy, filled with people and dangerous. Lannisport was big but Kings Landing was twice as crowded and busy. Cersei and Tyrion settled in the tower of the hand but had very minimal contact with the royals.

Cersei saw prince Viserys from afar and queen Rhaella as well. Jaime was now a knight and supposed to return to Casterly Rock which was what father wanted. And so Jaime went away and Tyrion went with him.

Cersei packed her bags, disheartened by the news that she would return to the Rock. It was surprising when father asked her why she had her clothes packed.

"You are not going anywhere." Her father replied. Cersei's hands grew cold. "What do you mean?"

Tyrion and Jaime were confused as well. "You are staying with me while your brothers leave for home. You will rejoin them soon enough."

Cersei shook her head, "I can't stay if Tyrion leaves."

"Well, we have reached an impasse, you are to stay with me while your brothers go west."

"But Tyrion is too young." Cersei continued and followed her father.

"As I recall, your brother turned six a few nights ago. He is by no means a babe. Tyrion are you a babe?" their father addressed her little brother.

"No sir." Tyrion said honestly.

"It's all decided then. Tyrion and Jaime go back to Casterly Rock and you stay here with me.

Tyrion looked away. Jaime nodded and Cersei was close to tears. Father left for a small council meeting. "I will see you off in a couple of hours."

Cersei was angry, "we are not going to see each other. How could you not say anything?" Cersei shrieked.

Tyrion frowned, "I am not a baby."

Cersei looked at him and grabbed his hands. "Tyrion, do you understand that I will not be with you? No more forehead kisses or good night songs."

Tyrion's eyes were downcast. "Father said that you will come back to the Rock soon."

Jaime nodded, "and he is getting big for good night kisses. Tyrion is big now. He will be fine. He will write, just like I did."

Cersei frowned, "it's not the same. You are old, Tyrion is just a boy."

Tyrion hugged her. "I promise I'll behave for Jaime."

Cersei hugged him tightly. They would not show this much affection when he left. Their father would forbid it.

"You have to listen and be good for everyone. You have to write to me too, every week, and no more fires. Swear." She said while kissing his face. It would be the first time that they would be away from each other. "I will miss you a lot." She cried freely.

"Promise to be good." She said between sobs.

"I will, I swear I will." Tyrion said and kissed her cheeks.

Jaime tried to comfort her. "It is up to you now. You will have to take care of him. You make sure he completes all his work. He needs to read and do not spoil him. No sweets before bed and under no circumstance is he allowed to tumble." Cersei said and then hugged her twin. "Remember what mother said. We have to love him dearly, for the rest of the world will not."


	7. Chapter 7

I don't own Game of Thrones

Here you go guys. Please read and review

Chapter 7

She turned seven and ten in King's Landing. It had been three years since she last saw her brothers. Tyrion wrote her every week. It was very hard for her to not have Tyrion by her side. It was the hardest thing she'd ever done. It was hardest than parting with Jaime. At least they got to see Jaime every other month and for some days. Cersei longed to see them. She longed to see Tyrion's face. She begged her father to let her go back to Casterly Rock but he refused at every turn. She grew to resent him. Cersei was now a grown woman without any marriage prospects. She was still enamored with Rhaegar but hopeless. If her father thought that proximity would create an attachment, then he was sorely mistaken. Prince Rhaegar preferred to be in Dragonstone and was seldom in King's Landing.

Life in the capital was boring. She attended endless feasts and parties. She accompanied her father to hunting trips but never went home. She was also in the company of queen Rhaella and prince Viserys who was always fussy. The queen loved her child and doted on him but Cersei thought the child too spoiled and the queen too soft on him. She would have scolded and corrected Tyrion if he ever threw the tantrums little Viserys threw. Cersei however reflected that her Tyrion was not a prince and would only be a lord.

Cersei read his letter and Jaime's once more.

Dearest sister,

Father is still forcing the marriage issue. He's hosted Hoster Tully and his two daughters. They are both very droll. I cannot think of sharing my life with any of them. I would love for you to be here with us now. Tyrion and I just came back from swimming. It is a beautiful day. We both miss you very much.

Love

Jaime.

Dearest Cersei,

Lysa Tully is insufferable. Cat is not so bad, but she is still very boring. Not as smart as you. I think father made a mistake. Jaime will never cooperate, also Jaime is not smart enough to be Lord of Casterly Rock. I try to make him pay more attention to uncle Kevan but he just loves to fight and play with swords. I miss you very much and wish you were here. Maybe, I can convince uncle Kevan to send me to King's Landing soon. I have to tell you; I ride horses now. I designed a special mount that is not so bad for my legs and the pain. I feel as tall as the rest of them.

Love,

Your best brother

Tyrion.

Cersei clutched the letters. She tried to imagine what it would be like to hold Tyrion and pepper him with kisses. She missed Jaime and his japes. She missed them so much. She even missed Orange.

Father entered her solar. "You are to break your fast with the queen and Viserys. They have prepared a little celebration for your name day."

Cersei nodded, "father, when will I go back?"

"If I have my way, your brothers will join us for your wedding to the crown prince." Her father said quickly.

"Truly." Cersei tried to stifle the excitement in her voice but was unsuccessful.

"Yes, now go dress and wear the rubies and golden dress for tonight." Her father said and left the tower.

Cersei did as she was told. She had her little celebration, queen Rhaella was happy to see her and showered her with silks and jewelry. Cersei took them graciously.

"You will be very happy after tonight's feast." The queen said with a demure smile. Cersei felt as if she had a thousand butterflies inside her belly.

She prepared for the night. Her hair shone like gold, she wore it loose with a diadem of rubies. She thought she looked beautiful. The feast commenced. Most of the Westerosi nobility was in attendance. There were a lot of young women. She was surprised when she saw the crown prince. He wore his hair back in a single braid. He was the handsomest man she ever saw. The room vanished and it was only her and Rhaegar. The prince smiled in her direction. Cersei felt her heart expand. This was her night. She would be announced as the new princess. The girl was so intent in communicating all the love she felt for the prince that she forgot the King was in attendance. She was brought back to reality when the man stood up.

The king spoke after the food was consumed. Cersei's heart hammered erratically. It was now, father smiled at her and raised a glass to her. Father had a beautiful smile. She grinned at him.

"My son, the prince of Summer Hall is old enough to wed. It is high time that he found a suitable wife and start a family of his own. Rhaegar smiled at her once more. Any moment now, King Aerys would ask for her hand, at which point father would graciously agree.

"It with my outmost approval that I announce that my son will wed this year. This alliance has been planned for years and now it will be forever sealed. A promise of a formidable union with alike minded young people." The king said triumphantly, Cersei thought that the king looked good. He looked less old, more vibrant and kingly.

"I have chosen the best wife for my son and heir. Princess Alyria, do I have the Dornish's prince permission to ask for young Elia Martell's hand in marriage?" It was not a question. Cersei's face crumbled, she was humiliated and utterly devastated.

The Dornish princess must have agreed to the match because all that could be heard was the loud cheers from the Westerosi. Father was pale and did not look at her. Cersei tried to smile tightly and focused on not crying. She was in a daze and did not see her father leave the feast. The young girl stayed for another hour, greeting and dancing with some lords. The queen approached her by the end of the night. 

"Are you not happy my girl?" The queen asked her tenderly.

Cersei wanted to shake her head and scream. The girl however smiled gently, "I am your grace."

Queen Rhaella held her hand, "now you will be lady in waiting for the new princess. It is the highest honor. Aerys is so grateful to your father." The queen continued.

Cersei thought her soft in the head for the first time. They all whispered that the Targaryens were mad and the girl began to believe it that night. She went back to the tower of the hand and was about to cry her heart out when she found the maids cleaning and gathering her things.

Her father had a goblet of wine. "You have your wish. We are going back to Casterly Rock."

Cersei did not have time to cry until they reached the first inn outside of King's Landing. The girl bit her pillow several times to not cry rage against the unfairness of the world.

Father made them stop at every single inn and little village along the way to Casterly Rock. It was as if he clung to the idea that the king would send for him. Her father was sorely mistaken. No ravens came, no emissaries, no riders in the middle of the night. Father was no longer in power.

She cried herself to sleep every night. The prince never talked to her. He did not even know her name. She was in love with him and they never heard a conversation. Cersei realized that she should have been bold. She should have slipped into his bedchambers late at night and given herself to him. Cersei knew what happened in the bedchambers. Her handmaidens talked about it when they thought she was not listening. Cersei knew that it would probably hurt but she would be fine.

Her father did not offer any words of support or kindness. She was alone and missed her brothers. She missed Jaime's ability to make her smile and she missed Tyrion's kisses. It was two weeks into their journey when her father finally understood that there was no going back. He set an imposing pace to go back to the Rock. Cersei became sick of traveling and wanted nothing but to get home and sleep.

They arrived at night. It was only uncle Kevan welcoming them. Cersei walked as if she were a ghost and found her quarters. She closed her eyes and thought she did not want to ever wake up.


	8. Chapter 8

I don't own Game of Thrones.

Thank you all for the support. I apologize for the long wait. Please read and review

Chapter 8

She had feverish dreams. Cersei tried to make sense of the images but it was hard. She was thirsty and hot. She trashed and woke up to darkness. The girl saw her dead mother but could not get near her, a wall of dragons stopped her. She then ran through a dark hallway. She yelled for her brothers, mother and even father on occasion but no one answered.

Later, Tyrion would tell her that she was in bed with a fever for two days. Cersei was in and out of the fever. Tyrion by her side, while maesters came and went.

She woke up late at night. Cersei was thirsty and had a headache. She moaned and opened her eyes. Tyrion smiled and hugged her. He was different, no more traces of baby in him.

Cersei smiled, "I am happy to see you too." She croaked.

"Jaime wake up." Tyrion said and her brother startled.

"Oh Cerse, you scared us." He said and smiled. "See I told you, she is fine. I have to call father. He will want to know that you are finally awake."

Cersei was looked after and had a bath. Tyrion and Jaime were forced to leave the room and she stayed with her handmaidens who cleaned and combed her hair.

She did not cry anymore. She was out of tears it seemed. Cersei waited for Tyrion and Jaime to come back to her but it was not them who came through her door. It was her lord father.

"How are you feeling?" He asked her while seating near her bed.

"Better, it must have been something I picked up from the road." She said and smoothed the linen sheets.

"Yes, your brothers were quiet worried." Her father said carefully. "You must rest. Good night." He stood up and did something he rarely did. He kissed her forehead. "Sleep well."

Cersei decided to try her luck, "could Tyrion come and stay here tonight?"

Her father nodded, "only for tonight. Things cannot be like they were before. I will not let you baby him anymore."

Cersei did not pay much attention, all she heard was that Tyrion could be near her. She knew that father would not allow Jaime but Tyrion could get away with it because he was still a baby.

Tyrion came in a couple of minutes later and grinned. "Father said you needed me." He laid down by her.

"I missed you very much Cersei. I cried myself to sleep the first month." He said honestly and kissed her cheek.

Cersei kissed his forehead, "I missed you two." Tyrion turned his back on her and Cersei caressed his hair and sang to him. She slept better that night than she had since father decided to make her stay in King's Landing. It was all wasted because now Rhaegar would marry Elia Martell in a fortnight.

She adjusted to life in Casterly rock little by little as father did. Uncle Kevan and his new wife were relegated. Cersei became lady of the rock once more and ran it. Father and Jaime saw to their lands. She had to be fair to father, Jaime was not really interested in being the future warden of the West. He went away for hours on end. Cersei thought he was in love with a girl and spied on him. Tyrion helped her as well. Jaime was not in love with a girl. He was in love with swords. He trained for hours. Cersei saw him and Tyrion confirmed that Jaime trained for hours every day. "He forgets most of everything that does not happen to be related to fighting and tales of knights and their heroic acts." Tyrion remarked when she met him for his studies. Her brother hated the maester and decided that he would be instructed independently. Father forbade it but relented after a nasty incident with fire.

Cersei sighed and went back to her needlepoint. Tyrion looked up from his book and said something in a foreign language. She asked him what was that. "Valyrian. I am learning it." He said proudly. "Do you want me to teach you?"

"No thank you." Valyrian reminded her of the prince and the fact that he must be in Dragonstone with his new bride.

Cersei continued to write her letters to Rhaegar, but this time they were filled with regret and pain. She knew that it was not his fault but she could not feel anything other than betrayal from him. How did he not see her? Why did he not seek her out?"

A year passed almost without any news but news always came. The prince had a daughter. They named her Rhaenys. There were feasts all over the land. Cersei could not cry but she dreamed of a little girl with her eyes and the pale blonde Targaryen hair. Father was away to the Riverlands for three weeks and came back with news for Jaime. He was to marry Lysa Arryn.

They were eating and Jaime stood up. "I will not." He said clearly.

Father frowned, "you will do as I say. Lysa will come and in a moon's turn."

Jaime shook his head. "I will escape and join the Golden Company."

Their father laughed, "and I suppose you will leave your brother and sister behind. You will leave your lands and claims as well."

Jaime looked at them regretfully but stood firm, "I will, I have no desire to be lord of Casterly Rock. Tyrion could do it."

Tyrion's eyes rounded and he then looked down to his plate. "Nonsense." Father said but there was no more talk of marrying Jaime. The Tullys were forgotten. Cersei was surprised that there was no talk of marriage for her. All of the girls her age were married, simple Jeyne even had a son already.

Cersei and Jaime turned eighteen without a fuss. Jaime received a beautiful armor and she had jewelry and a nice song made for her. Uncle Gerion came back and surprised them with news. He had a bastard daughter, Joy Hill. Her father was livid. Cersei grew bored with her duties and watched days turn into months.

Cersei had hoped that Elia Martell would die in childbirth but both mother and child were healthy. Father wisely sent three carriages filled with gold to the capital, rejoicing in the new princess' birth.

Princess Elia was pregnant once again after the year was out. The realm rejoiced once more for this time, it would be a son. It was, the Dornish princess was confined in bed for a month after giving birth to Aegon.

Her father made one last attempt to make her queen. It was a sunny afternoon and news of The princess' Elia's poor health reached Casterly Rock once more. "Cersei and I will travel to King's Landing in three days." He said over supper.

Cersei could not help but feel a little thrill. She would see Rhaegar once more. It was all that mattered.

"Jaime will come with me as well. It is high time that you married." Father continued.

"You will this time. There will be no more excuses. I have been too soft with you three." Her father said firmly.

Cersei did not think so but there was no fighting their father. Jaime tried the old, "I'll run away."

"Do so, run away. I will marry once more and have more children."

Cersei frowned, "the Rock would go to Tyrion. He's your second son."

Her father looked at Tyrion with contempt. "He will not. If your brother leaves, I will disinherit the three of you. Jaime will have to provide for you and Tyrion."

Jaime balled his fists, "you would never do that."

Their father drank from his goblet, "watch. I am lord of Casterly Rock and Warden of the West. These are my lands and you are my children. I have no use for disobedient sons."

Tyrion looked up defiantly and spoke just as clearly as their father, "you are lord of the Rock for now but one day you will die and nothing will stop Jaime from doing whatever he wants."

Their father was taken aback but recovered almost immediately, "our name will remain. I will not have you or your siblings besmirching it."

Cersei looked at Jaime and it was over. Her twin knew it as well. He would never abandon her or Tyrion.

He sat down and finished his meal quietly. Father smiled briefly but triumphantly. Jaime went away as soon as father left.

Tyrion was in sour mood, "I love Jaime." He said. Cersei checked on him before going to bed herself.

"I know you do." Cersei replied. She kissed his forehead and then went for the door. Father would banish her from the Rock if he knew.

Tyrion stayed quiet, "I would do a better job. I am smarter. I would be a better Warden."

Cersei came back to his bed, "all we have is each other Tyrion. It's just the three of us. We have to take care of each other."

Tyrion nodded and received another kiss from her.

Cersei went to look for Jaime in his rooms. He wasn't there so she made her way to the stables. Her brother cleaned his sword.

"Jaime." She called to him. Her brother did not look up.

She came closer and realized that he was crying softly. Cersei sat by him and hugged him. She knew that all Jaime ever wanted was to be knight like the ones in the books father forced him to read until he did not confuse his letters.

Cersei rubbed his back and let him have a good cry. Her twin didn't have to explain anything.

Jaime wiped his face after a while, "do you think it would have been different if she were alive?"

Cersei doubted it but Jaime needed comfort, "yes, mother would have made sure that we were all happy. Maybe we would have more brothers and sisters. Father wouldn't worry so much about his legacy."

Jaime nodded, "I had a plan you know. I was going to fail miserably at being a lord for a year. Father would then have to rely on Tyrion and realize he would be a better lord."

Cersei shook her head, "he will never leave Casterly Rock to Tyrion."

Jaime sighed, "Maybe we could all run away. Father wouldn't have heirs and it would all go to uncle Kevan."

Cersei smiled bitterly, "he can have more children. Do you see me and Tyrion trailing after you?"

Her brother looked defeated. Cersei kissed his hand. "It isn't too bad. You will have a wife and will rule. You can hunt and fight all you want."

"I don't want a wife. I want to be like uncle Gerion. Travel far, fight, learn new things." He said.

Cersei interrupted that train of thought. "Casterly Rock will be yours and Tyrion could run it in your name. All you have to do is wait and do as he says."

Jaime frowned, "I would like you to be in my place."

Cersei pursued her lips, "I would love to be in your place. I would be able to rule in my own name. Be here at home. How long do you think before he ships me off to some lord?" Cersei stood up. Jaime hugged her, "I'm sorry."

"Thank you." She said and grabbed his hand.

"Let's go back inside. I am getting cold." She said and shivered a little.

Jaime smiled, "I'll take a walk." He said and made sure that she was inside the castle.

Cersei knew that Jaime would not stay in the stables. He was going to the brothel in Lannisport. He'd been going for six months now. He did not have a regular schedule. Cersei learned indirectly, through their father actually. Uncle Kevan and him were discussing Jaime and Cersei listened behind the doors.

Cersei thought father would kill Jaime when he learned but he heard his father say, "Good. Make sure the whore is clean and cannot bear children. We shan't have bastards."

Cersei ran back to her room. She of course knew about brothels. She knew that women satisfied men there. Cersei shrugged and slept fitfully that night. Jaime wouldn't leave her or Tyrion.

The girl looked for him the following morning and found him eating an apple. She sighed in relief.

"Did you have a nice walk?" Cersei asked with a smile. She blinked at him when he almost choked.

"I did." He said and then changed the subject to going to the shores.

"Spring is here. What do you say sister? The three of us swimming. You have not swam since you came back from the Capital."

Cersei took the offer, "We will meet you by the gates."

The girl went into Tyrion's rooms and then went into the dungeons. He sat looking at a fire.

Cersei frowned, "get up, we are going swimming."

Tyrion sighed and followed her, "I don't want to. I want to stay here."

"The sun will do you good." The siblings walked to the gates and met Jaime who grinned from ear to ear.

They walked, Jaime taught Tyrion a dirty song. Cersei frowned but listened. They made it to their private beach. No one in Lannisport was allowed there only the Lannisters. Jaime and Tyrion undressed to their breeches and went straight for the water. Cersei remained back. Jaime and Tyrion splashed and swam. Cersei decided to get into the water as well. She used her shift and underdress. It would be enough to make sure that she was covered.

She played around with Tyrion and yelled when Jaime dunked her under the water. Tyrion climbed her back and tried to sink her as well. She laughed like she had not in years. Tyrion tumbled and tried to teach them. Cersei was successful and graceful while Jaime made a fool of himself. Jaime looked to be out of his funk. They played all afternoon and ran to dry themselves. Tyrion was sleepy by the time they walked back to the Rock. He climbed Jaime's back and he carried him until they got home.

Father waited for them at the gates. Cersei stiffened. Jaime set Tyrion down. Their father's voice was icy. "Make yourselves presentable. I will see you three in my solar immediately."

The three Lannisters took their separate ways. Cersei dressed and tried to comb her wet and salty hair. It was by no means presentable but she plaited into a single braid. She was the last one to join.

"We are to go to Harrenhal for Lord Whent's daughter's nameday." He said clearly. Cersei frowned.

"Why?" She blurted.

Her father contemplated her for a minute and then said quickly, "the King has asked for a presence. I need you three to be on your best behavior. Jaime, you are free to enlist in as many lists as you desire."

Jaime grinned and nodded. "Yes father."

"Cersei, you and Tyrion will be on your best behavior."

Cersei then thought that maybe the king had come to his senses and wanted her father back as Hand of the King. Father would then go back to King's Landing. He dismissed her brothers and asked her to sit down.

"I need your help." Her father looked at her seriously.

"Of course father." She said with downcast eyes.

Father stood up and came close to her, "I need you to make sure that your brothers behave themselves. There is a lot of stake in this Tourney. We might be in the King's good grace if things work out."

Cersei nodded, "Father, am I still to marry prince Rhaegar?"

Father kissed her forehead, "you must be patient. Now, go on and do as I told you. Make sure your brothers behave."


	9. Chapter 9

I don't own anything!

Please keep reading and reviewing

Chapter 9

Harrenhal was massive. Cersei tried to not be awed by its sheer size. Most of the noble houses were in attendance. Cersei had knights and lords bow to her every five minutes. There were the Freys, the Manderlys, the Tyrells, the Florents, the Martells. There were even northerners. Tyrion knew every sigil. "Those are Baratheons." He said, Cersei looked at a strong man.

"My lady." The man said with a laughing smile. He was possibly the biggest man she ever saw.

Cersei smiled, "Robert Baratheon, lord of Storm's End." He said.

There was another man beside him. He introduced himself, "Brandon Stark." He said and boldly kissed her hand. He was taller and more handsome. Cersei was a little impressed by him.

"We are looking for our brother." She smiled their way.

"And who might you be fair maiden?" The man smiled gallantly.

"Cersei of house Lannister." She said simply.

Both men bowed again and pointed her to a clearing. "He is training with my youngest brother."

Cersei and Tyrion walked away, not before Brandon Stark winked at her. Cersei did not react.

Jaime was not training with anyone. He was talking to Oberyn Martell. Cersei frowned, "Prince Oberyn." She said in greeting.

"Lady Cersei, you grow more beautiful by the hour." He said and kissed her hand.

Tyrion wandered off to talk to people. "Father will dine with the king in private tonight." She told her brother who readied to joust.

Jaime smiled, "why are you here Cersei?"

She frowned, "father said to make sure you were on your best behavior."

Jaime laughed, "you want to see him. Don't you?"

Cersei blushed, "no. I just want to make sure you are fine."

"Sweet sister, you cannot lie to me. I am your twin." He said arrogantly. "He is inside the castle."

Cersei felt absurd. She should have remained back. "Tyrion, we have to find our places."

Tyrion wandered away and talked to a young man. "Let him make friends. That is Benjen Stark."

Cersei nodded and left her brother. She walked through the forest and heard some sounds. She followed the sounds of a sword and armor. She walked deeper into the woods. It was as if she was beckoned to do so.

What she found was incredible. It was a young woman changing into armor. Cersei gasped when they locked eyes. "Please don't tell anyone."

"Why are you dressing as a knight?" Cersei asked the girl. She appeared to be at least a year younger than her.

"I have to avenge my father's bannerman." She said clearly. The girl had grey eyes and black hair, as black as night.

"I am Cersei Lannister." She said.

"Lyanna Stark." The girl replied. "Will you keep my secret?"

Cersei looked at her, "are you any good?"

"Better than Benjen and Ned." She said proudly. "I may be exaggerating about Ned."

Cersei looked at her suspiciously, "are they real knights?"

Lyanna shook her head, "my brothers."

Cersei was curious, "I met one of them but he said his name was Brandon."

Lyanna put on her helmet, "I have to joust now Cersei. I will come and find you after the feast."

The girl mounted her horse and left. Cersei went back to her seat and watched the jousts. Lyanna Stark won time and time again that same day.

Tyrion was in awe. They watched Jaime move up the lists and cheered. Jaime promised to crown her queen of love and beauty by the end of the Tourney.

Cersei and Jaime attended the feast that night. Tyrion was too tired and fell asleep almost immediately. Father, the King and Lord Whent were in a separate chamber. Jaime left her to talk to some lords. She watched as prince Rhaegar and princess Elia came into the hall. The Dornish princess looked tired and sat with her ladies while Prince Rhaegar played music for the hall. It was hauntingly beautiful. All the ladies were in a trance. A few cried at the beauty of the music, including one Lyanna Stark.

Cersei waited patiently. She made for the door after half an hour. Lyanna followed discreetly.

"You kept my secret." She said with a small smile.

Cersei frowned, "no one would have believed me."

Lyanna nodded and walked with her, "this is the last Tourney I will attend in a while."

"I am going to run away." She said with a grin.

Cersei frowned more pronouncedly, "why are you telling me that?"

Lyanna shrugged, "you won't tell anyone."

"You won quite a few times." Cersei remarked. She was a little impressed by this girl.

"I told you I was good." She continued. "Are you not going to ask?" The other girl stopped walking with her.

Cersei turned around, "ask what?"

Lyanna sighed, "I am betrothed to Robert Baratheon."

"I met him. The Stormlord?" Cersei replied.

"Yes, he's Ned's best friend. They are like brothers."

Cersei failed to see how this would be interesting or worthwhile but something made her like this girl.

"I like him. He's fine but he's not for me." Lyanna continued. "He doesn't love me. He has a daughter in the Eyre."

"What are you going to do?" Cersei asked her.

"I'll run away to Essos and join a sellsword company. I've heard some of them take women and I'm good." The girl said with a smile. She was eager, "Ned, Benjen and I will journey back North together. Brandon will go to Riverrun. He's to marry Catelyn Tully. It is the perfect opportunity for me."

Cersei frowned once more, "you are making a mistake. You really are."

Lyanna shook her head, "I can't marry him. I don't love him."

"You sound like my brother." Cersei did not think she had more time for silly girls.

"Will you keep my secret then?" Lyanna asked her.

Cersei shrugged, "yes, but I would not run away. Stay and marry your Stormlord."

Lyanna smiled but then left to go to the forest. She would probably train more. Cersei sighed. She was a stupid girl after all. She was a little distracted and did not see the man coming towards her. She was startled when he bumped into her.

"My lady, I apologize." The stranger said. He had a nice voice. Cersei looked at him, grey eyes, tall, long face, tall, taller than her. He was a Stark, he looked like Brandon. This was Lyanna's other brother.

"You should watch where you walk." She said quickly. "She went into the woods." Cersei said.

"Thank you." The Stark left after his sister.

Cersei went back to her quarters and slept peacefully that night. Her and Tyrion watched the different jousts. Her peace did not last long. Father was increasingly prickly about things and decided that they would leave before the Tourney ended. Cersei was angrier than Jaime who was winning all of his jousts. She stormed out into the many fields in Harrenhal.

She ran and almost fell when she stumbled. Cersei walked blindly into the forest. She came to a clearing and found something that almost broke her. There, by a river was Prince Rhaegar kissing Lyanna Stark. It was not a forced kiss either. Lyanna caressed his face and he replied by leaning into the caress. Cersei turned and ran back without them seeing her. She was crying and didn't notice the rain or the fact that her dress was caught in a root. Cersei continued running but there was no more ground to run into. She fell and rolled into ground and hit her head.

"My lady." She heard someone say. It was the Stark man. It all came back to her. Lyanna and Rhaegar kissing. She cried, her heart ached.

Cersei opened her eyes and saw the man's worried face, "I saw you falling." He said and helped her sit down. Cersei kept crying. "It is fine. You only have small wound on your forehead." He said patiently and dabbed it with a cloth from his shirt.

Cersei wiped her face angrily. "I have to go back to the castle. We are leaving today." She tried to stand up and realized that there was a shooting pain on her left leg.

The Stark helped her. "Sit, my lady, may I look at it?"

"Are you a maester?" She asked a little exasperated that she could not cry alone.

"No, but I can tell if it is broken or not." He said quickly.

"Fine." She said and did not expect him to touch her leg. She yelped when he touched her ankle. "It's not broken, just sprained. You must not put your weight on it." The man said and carried her on his arms.

"What are you doing?" She said and tried to get down.

"You are hurt and it will be night soon." He said quickly.

Cersei frowned, "you can't take me back like this. People will think badly of me. You must set me down near the open fields and call for my brother."

"Something could happen to you." He said as he carried her. The man was strong, he walked fast and did not waver.

"You have to. I am Cersei Lannister, not some barmaid. I am a lady; my father would end you if he knew you touched my ankle." She said haughtily.

"Very well, as you wish." He said.

He set her on a rock at the edge of the forest. Cersei cried silently for a while. She wept once again because of Rhaegar. She decided no more. Enough was enough. She would not do so anymore. These were the last tears that she shed for him. She thought of how stupid she was and how ridiculous this all was. There she was, pining over him when the prince never looked at her. She shook a little, sobbing and hating herself for crying this much.

Jaime ran to her and it was all too much. She hugged him tight. "Cerse, it will be fine. I swear to you. I promise, I will make him pay. Dearest, calm down." Cersei kept shaking. Tyrion came to her side as well.

Jaime stood up and looked at the Stark man. He charged at the northerner. "What did you do to her?" Her brother yelled.

Jaime punched the Stark man. The northerner then punched Jaime. "Stop." Cersei stood up and regretted it immediately. She fell down once more.

Both men ran to her, "my lady, I told you. Do not put your weight on your foot."

Jaime pushed the Stark away, "Cersei, tell me. What did he do to you? I will kill him." Jaime said and grabbed her hands.

"Nothing Jaime. I ran and fell. Look at my ankle." She said carefully. Jaime glared at the man and then lifted her dress.

"Oh sister." He said. "We must get you to the maester. Are sure he did not do anything to you?" Jaime asked her once more.

"I am sure Jaime." She said and then her brother picked her up. She leaned into his chest and closed her eyes.

The Stark man bowed to her and then went his way. Tyrion fetched their father who had the maester fix her.

"It needs to heal. She will need a litter to travel." The maester replied. The Lannisters left that same night. Father did not let Jaime stay. He was to joust with the Prince the following morning.

Tyrion accompanied her on the litter. "Do not be so sad Cersei, you will be on your feet soon enough."

Cersei smiled gently at her baby brother. The reached an inn in two days and learned that Prince Rhaegar crowned one Lyanna Stark his queen of Love and Beauty. Father did not think much of it and there were no more words spoken about Harrenhal.


	10. Chapter 10

I don't own Game of Thrones.

Thank you all for the feedback and support

Chapter 10

News of Lyanna's kidnapping spread fast. Cersei and Jaime were having breakfast when the news reached them. Their father stayed put for a second and immediately went to his solar. Tyrion came to her drawing room. Jaime was by her side. They were discussing Tyrion's upcoming name day feast.

"What would you like for your name day Tyrion?" Cersei asked him as they ate some fruit.

He shrugged, "whatever is good." He said and then looked at them curiously.

"Prince Rhaegar kidnapped Lyanna Stark. I heard father say that something is going to happen."

Cersei was not surprised. She kept quiet and wondered why it was not her. She busied herself with Casterly Rock. There were rumors that the King asked had imprisoned Brandon Stark and his companions. They were accused of conspiring to kill the crown prince. She also heard that King Aerys asked for their lord father to answer for their sons' crimes.

Father stayed away from conflict. Cersei thought it wise to do so. She remembered how unhinged the King could be. She remembered how the king had Ilyn Payne's tongue cut off after the man joked that her father was the real king.

Cersei combed her long hair one night and was distracted when father burst into the room. "Get dressed. "We have company."

Cersei frowned and did not have time to fix her hair. She wore a dark blue dress and came down with Tyrion who looked sleepy. Jaime was already glaring at the party who was with their father. Cersei recognized the Stark man and the Stormlord but did not recognize the young woman, and the two older men.

"My daughter Cersei and my youngest son Tyrion." Their father said as introduction.

The Stark man looked at her quickly and then looked away.

"These are Hoster Tully and Jon Arryn." Her father said pointed to the two older men.

"You met Eddard Stark and Robert Baratheon in Harrenhal." Their father continued. "Cersei and Jaime are to marry Eddard and Lysa tonight." Her father spoke softly.

Cersei frowned. She looked at Jaime and saw it in his eyes. It was done. It was true. She would not have any say in the matter. Not that anything that she said ever counted. She was powerless in all of it. Cersei refused to cry. She refused to let these strange men see her weak.

Tyrion frowned, "Why?"

It was Arryn who spoke, "Jaime, Eddard and Robert are to take back King's Landing and find Lyanna."

Father chose a side after all. Cersei did not once look at her betrothed. "Cersei, take Lysa to the guest quarters. You both most wash and freshen up for the ceremony."

Cersei walked in a daze and led the girl outside the study. Tyrion was not allowed to go with them. Lysa began to cry in earnest when they reached the rooms.

"I do not want to marry your brother. I want to go home." The simple girl sobbed. Cersei looked at her with disgust.

"You are lucky to have landed my brother." Cersei said quickly.

The redheaded girl frowned, "it is all Cat's fault. She should have waited. Brandon and her should have waited. She got herself with child and is now North. I hope her babe dies."

Cersei looked at her, "what are you saying?"

Lysa looked at her, "you don't know. Brandon and Rickard Stark are dead. The king killed them a week ago. Brandon insisted they married before he and his father answered summons from the King. But I know why. Cat did not have her moon-blood. She's with child and now she's North." The girl was demented.

Cersei left her crying and went to her own chambers. Jaime waited for her there. "Is it true? Are the other Starks dead?"

Jaime nodded, "he's making alliances and bargaining your dowry as we speak."

Cersei paced. "Where is Tyrion?"

Jaime could not quite look at her in the eyes. "They are sending him away after the ceremony. He will be fostered in the Eyrie with the Royces."

Cersei cried then, "why is he doing this? Why is he taking Tyrion away from me?"

Jaime held her, "you mustn't cry. It will ruin your face for the ceremony."

Cersei hit him on the chest, "why are you so accepting of all of this?"

Jaime looked at her, "Tyrion will come back. I agreed to marry Lysa with only one condition. I will have Tyrion by my side, always. He knows that I do not have the head to run the Rock but Tyrion does."

Cersei realized it, Tyrion would need to know how to run lands. "He could have stayed here."

Jaime frowned, "you know very well that father would not stand for it. So Tyrion will go to the Eyrie and learn for a year. He will then come back to me. He will be the lord of Casterly Rock."

Cersei frowned, "what about your children?"

Jaime smiled at her, "I do not plan to have any children with that girl. Father has to die eventually. Tyrion will be ready and I will go away."

"What if father lives to be so old like Walder Frey?" Cersei stated.

Jaime kissed her forehead, "why must you always be so negative?"

Cersei looked down, "what about me? I will have to marry a stranger."

Jaime grabbed her hand and squeezed, "Cersei, you were always going to marry a stranger."

Cersei looked away, "you will stay here until the war ends. Father and Stark have agreed." Jaime said as consolation. Cersei half smiled. He did not understand. How could he? It was not the same for him. Jaime and even Tyrion got to stay. They got some control over their lives even with father being father. Cersei was bargained and sold to a man she never properly met.

She was numb with rage when the handmaidens began their work. A new girl worked on her hair. She put oils to untangle it and work with it. Cersei chose a golden dress while the new girl put emeralds on her braids.

"M'lady, you look beautiful." Cersei did not say anything and waited until she was called. She could not think about Rhaegar anymore. She cried for him since she was a child. It would not do anymore. It simply could not anymore. It felt like she repeated those words over and over and now they would be true. They had to become true.

Her father entered her chambers. He held a heavy red cloak with a golden lion emblazoned.

He looked at her and put it on. His father then looked at her and kissed her forehead.

There were no more words spoken. Father's bet did not pay off and he finally admitted defeat. He aligned himself with the winners. It was self-preservation. What Jaime did not understand was that father knew that the Targaryens were done. It would be Baratheon. He would sit on that throne with Lyanna by his side. What father did not know was that Lyanna would not sit quietly.

Cersei looked at her father once more and decided to be quiet. She was tired of it and wanted this day to be over.

Father grabbed her hand and led her to the sept. "The North is the biggest kingdom out of the seven. Your husband is to inherit."

"Catelyn Tully is with child." Cersei replied. "Why are you giving me away to a second son?"

Her father looked at her quietly, "my hand is forced. I will not give you to a vassal house. You are my daughter."

"Why would I need to be given away?" Cersei said.

Her father looked impossibly old then, "they saw you with him coming out of the forest. Your brothers confirmed it. I will not have a nasty rumor end your possibilities."

Cersei remained quiet. "You will stay with me until Eddard comes back from King's Landing. You will go North with him afterwards."

"What about Catelyn and her child?" Cersei asked.

"Children die every day. The Tully girl is rather sick with grief herself. She may do us all a favor and die with the child inside her belly." Her father intoned before they stepped into the sept.

That was the game he played now. He would take care of Catelyn and make way for Eddard.

Cersei stared blankly at him. It would not do. She would not go North.


	11. Chapter 11

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Chapter 11

She was given away and was now in her chambers with her lord husband. Jaime and her were married to strangers. Lysa cried throughout the ceremony. There was no feast. There was no bedding ceremony. Eddard Stark covered her with his cloak and she led him to her chambers.

They were alone now, face to face. Cersei looked at him for the longest time. "I am sorry about your brother and father."

He nodded and sat by a chair near the bed. Cersei sat on the bed and looked at him. "Should I undress?"

"No." Her lord husband replied.

"What do we do then?" Cersei asked him. "We have three days before you go to claim King's Landing for your friend.

"I only want to find my sister." Eddard stated clearly.

Cersei blinked at him. If only he knew that Lyanna had ran away with Rhaegar. "Why did you accept the match?"

The northerner did not look at her face, "Jon Arryn advised that it would be best."

"Why did you not marry Catelyn? It would make sense. She holds the future warden of the North."

Eddard looked at her with impossibly grey eyes, "I am not fond of taking any hand me downs. Never have been."

Cersei felt uncomfortable on the dress. "I am going to undress." Cersei felt no need to cover herself. He was her husband. It would not be unmade now.

She felt his eyes on her. Cersei liked that. Would he want to sleep with her? of course he would. Did she want to sleep with him? She did not see why not. It was expected of her and it would be to her advantage if she carried a son. If it was a boy it could compete with Catelyn's child for the North.

Cersei remained on her shift and went into bed. "It is not comfortable in the chair. You could come here."

Eddard undressed and got under the covers with her, "you are beautiful." He said softly. He looked different up close, younger somehow.

Cersei smiled, "thank you."

They stared at each other for a time, "tell me about you." He said sleepily. He must be tired from the traveling.

"I am nine and ten. My mother died when my baby brother was born." Cersei started. It was the defining event of her life. Cersei used to think about what would have happened if mother were alive.

Eddard looked at her, "My mother died when Benjen was born. A fever took her. Her name was Lyarra. What was your mother's name?" Cersei was surprised by him. She was sure he would start kissing and making his way inside her shift by now. Lord Stark instead wanted to talk. Cersei humored and decided to be honest. She had nothing to lose. Stark would leave to go to war. He could die and she would be a widow or he could come back and remember her fondly.

"Joanna. I loved her very much. I used to remember everything about her but now I have to think really hard to remember her voice or what she looks like." Cersei said openly. It felt good to speak about her beloved mother without having someone wince in pain.

Eddard looked sad, "I do not remember my lady mother at all. Old Nan raised me. She raised us all." Eddard told her about the North. It sounded like a fairy tale land.

Cersei grabbed his hand and examined it. She traced it. Eddard had big hands, "my mother used to sing to me every night. She combed my hair and told me she loved me." Cersei

They talked about their childhood. Eddard told her about growing up North and then going to the Eyrie. He told her about his brothers but did not mention Lyanna at all. He said to call him Ned. All his friends and family did.

Ned smiled, "you looked very sad the last time I saw you."

Cersei nodded, "I saw something that broke my heart."

Ned did not ask any further. They fell asleep after talking more about their families.

The maiden came to serve breakfast and noticed that they were dressed. "Leave." She heard Ned say softly.

The woman scurried away.

"Good morning." He said while grabbing her hand. Cersei tried to not be so startled at his presence.

"Good morning." She answered.

She had to use the chamber pot and so did he. They freshened up and sat in front of each other. "The maiden will bring breakfast. We do not have to go to the main hall." Cersei offered.

Ned agreed. They had breakfast quietly, "have you been to the beach yet?"

"No." Eddard replied.

"I will take you today." She said and dressed for the day. Ned followed her. They walked hand in hand and out of the Rock.

Cersei took him to the private beach. She took out her slippers and walked barefoot. Ned looked at her strangely but then joined her.

They walked alongside the shore. She smiled at the waves. "Do you know how to swim?"

"I do" Cersei did not expect that answer.

"How? It is so cold in the North. Do you swim in your lakes?"

Ned chuckled. It was a small sound, "no. We have springs. They are hot, near our Godswoods."

Cersei stripped to her shift.

"Don't do that. Someone could see you." Ned said.

Cersei shook her head, "no one will. No one comes here. Come on." She invited him to swim with her.

They did. It was different than swimming with her brothers. They did not look at her like they wanted to undress her. She liked that look of his. It made her feel hot all over her body.

She stepped out of the water and laid on the sand while letting the sun dry her. "You remind me of her a bit." Ned said.

There it was, the opening that she needed, "of whom?"

"Lyanna, my sister." He said sadly.

Cersei looked at him, "I met her in Harrenhal. I am not like her. She can fight. I used to switch places with Jaime when we were little but father caught on and then Tyrion needed me."

Ned smiled, "father also refused to let Lyanna fight but she found her ways."

Cersei nodded, "she told me she wanted to be a knight."

Ned ran his hands over his face, "silly girl."

"Do you think the war will be long?" Cersei asked him.

"I don't know. I just want my sister back. She and Benjen are all I have left." He sounded very sad. She thought about Jaime or worse Tyrion away from her, not knowing whether he was safe, if he hurt and her heart beat faster.

Cersei stayed quiet. They dried and went back to her bedchambers. They had some late lunch.

Ned and her talked more and slept side by side. He did not initiate any contact with her, not even one single kiss.

Cersei decided to not push. She needed to gain his trust. She found him attractive. She needed to make him love her. Cersei needed to control him. She only knew she wanted to stay South near Tyrion but how? She needed to wait and think of a strategy.

The third day after her marriage found her saying goodbye to her husband and brothers. She kissed Jaime on the cheek and hugged him tight. She peppered Tyrion with kisses. He was to go with Jon Arryn. They were bound for the Eyrie.

"Be good, listen to the Royces." She whispered. She needed to form a plan to get him back, near her.

Tyrion hugged her tight. "I want to stay with you." Cersei heard his broken voice. Her poor baby brother. She needed him by her side.

"Father will not like to see you cry. How about you let me cry for you?" She sobbed when he nodded. She would exaggerate her reaction now. Let them all think that she was a silly little thing. A young and naive girl. She would show them. She vowed to herself that Tyrion would be with her soon enough.

"Father please, let him stay, father please." Cersei begged once Tyrion was inside a litter.

Tyrion was her soft spot. Everything could be taken away but not her baby brother. She thought that she was prepared to see Tyrion off but she clearly was not.

"Enough Cersei." Her father said sternly. She looked at her lord father with hatred. This was worse than being sold off the strangers.

Cersei quieted. It was time to say goodbye to her lord husband. She was an obedient child as well as a caring wife and sister. It was the mantra that she chanted inside her head.

"My lady." He said and kissed her hand.

Cersei curtsied. "Take care and come back." She put on her little show for the man's benefit.

The three young men rode away from the Rock. Cersei wiped her tears and went back to her chambers.

She fell asleep late that night wondering if Tyrion and Jaime were fine. Jaime could take care of himself but Tyrion… Her Tyrion needed help. He always would and she would be there to make sure that he was well taken care of.


	12. Chapter 12

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Chapter 12

There was not much to do as a married lady without a household. Lysa was annoying, moping about the castle and talking to herself. Father stayed in his solar most of the day but had dinner with her. Lysa refused to leave her quarters.

It was at least two months when they received news from the North. Lady Catelyn Stark gave birth to a baby girl. She named her Sansa. Both mother and daughter were in good health. The news was not well received by Lysa who cried night and day.

Cersei frowned at her. Even father noticed that the woman was unhinged.

"I hear you are not with child." He said while having dinner with her.

Cersei shook her head. Her father looked at her unflinchingly.

"It is in your best interest to try once your husband comes back. The Tully girl has a daughter. Catelyn should have been given to your husband. She now will have to wait for the other Stark to grow up and take her or go back to the Riverlands with her child. Winterfell will be Eddard's."

Cersei nodded. She had no intention of going north.

She heard noises outside her chambers. It was the middle of the night. Cersei sat up and saw the figure enter quietly. She was about to yell for help when he spoke

"I did not want to wake you." He said softly.

Cersei lit up a candle and saw him. Ned looked tired and upset.

She smiled at him, "did you know?" He asked her with a frown.

"Pardon?" She blinked at him, completely unaware of his line of thought.

Ned looked at her carefully, "about Lyanna and Rhaegar?"

Cersei looked at him just as carefully. "What about them?" It was best to play stupid.

"Do not play coy. It does not suit you. Howland Reed saw you and her talking. He also saw Lyanna and Rhaegar kissing the day before the final joust." Ned said quickly. So, the game was up, Cersei thought.

Her lord husband continued to speak, "I put two and two together. You saw them in the forest. Your brother and I had some drinks before we arrived. Some of his men explained that you were to be queen. I remembered my father uttering those same words." Cersei looked away. It still hurt to think about that.

"I did, I saw them." Cersei admitted.

Ned rubbed his face. "This war is all a lie. She went willingly. Lyanna ran away. It has to stop."

Cersei frowned, "it's too late for that."

The man frowned, "I am off to the Riverlands tomorrow. Robert has called Rhaegar to combat."

"Come to bed then." Cersei said.

Ned was a little unsteady but followed her.

They were quiet for a bit. "You must love him still." He mused.

Cersei stayed silent. "He will die. Robert will kill him." Ned whispered. His words were cruel and said very coldly.

Cersei stiffened. She could not think of a world where her beloved Rhaegar died. Even after all these years, she sometimes dreamed of Rhaegar. Her young heart had idolized him.

Ned did not speak of any of it the following morning. Jaime stayed in his quarters with Lysa. Cersei bathed and arranged her hair. Ned was ready for break fasting. Cersei led him to the hall. Her father was there with uncle Kevan.

Cersei ate slowly. Ned sat beside her and ate some bacon and then his ale. Father addressed Ned almost immediately, "Hoster has written. Robert will be on the Trident in a fortnight. You are to meet him there. Jaime and you will leave in two days."

Her lord husband looked uncomfortable. Cersei forced herself to smile shyly. She was annoyed that her lord husband would stay more than predicted and also by the fact that he did not want to stay.

Her father and uncle took their leave. Cersei stood up and extended her hand. "We are going to Lannisport." She said and then took him to her quarters once more. 

"Those clothes will not do." She said. Her husband had on simple garments but these were of the highest quality and the steel direwolf on his belt buckle did not help either. She grabbed the belt and undid it. She smiled prettily at him while he stared confused.

"We will not be Cersei and Ned. We will be other people." She said and began to undress. Her husband looked away.

Cersei frowned but completely undressed while he stared at the wall. She put on breeches, a rough black tunic and boots. They used to be Jaime's when he was younger. Cersei went to Lannisport dressed as a boy whenever she wanted to be away from the Rock and everyone. She dressed as boy more often now that Tyrion was away. She felt free whenever she went away and no one knew who she was.

She threw Ned his clothes and prepared to bind her hair in a bun. It would change her face. Her husband changed quickly.

Cersei and him walked through the courtyards and slipped through a service gate. Cersei walked purposely to the stables where she took a grey horse and handed Ned a black one. She knew how to ride a horse when it was just Jaime and her. She was not very good but could get by. Her lord husband however was excellent. Cersei had a little trouble leading but they made it to the port. Cersei and him left the horses tied. "They will not get stolen. See, they have my sigil."

Ned frowned when he saw the yellow lion over the crimson background. Cersei did not ask and grabbed his hand. She led him to the market. Ned watched the different spots. "There is so many people."

Cersei smiled, "You should be here for the festivals. There are many more people." They spent the morning and part of the afternoon touring the markets. Cersei had him taste different fruits. Ned had never had some of them. "These do not grow North."

Cersei frowned, "what about trades? And the Eyrie?"

Ned looked at her speculatively and then answered, "my father does not believe in these delicacies. Jon Arryn was not fond of trading with the Lannisters."

Cersei nodded. She remembered father saying something to Jaime about it. "I am surprised your father sent your baby brother East."

"I am too. Father always said that Tyrion would be fostered in the West like Jaime was." She replied as they walked to see the ships.

"You are very fond of him." Ned asserted.

Cersei arched an eyebrow.

Her husband elaborated, "Tyrion."

She nodded, "I thought that he would surely die after he was born. Everyone said so but Tyrion lived. He is very smart; the smartest boy I know."

Ned looked at a ship moving away. "Sometimes I wish I could go away."

It was a family trait then. Cersei did not comment on it. She grabbed his hand and took him away from his thoughts. "We have to eat."

They went to a tavern as the sun set. The couple had a chicken and ale. Her lord husband ate most of it. Cersei tried to eat like the men around her but was unable to do so. It was the only thing that she disliked. The lack of cutlery and ill manners.

Her hair became undone as they went back to get the horses. They found them quickly. Ned helped her mount hers and then they were off to the Rock. It dark and night. Cersei smelled like sweat and horse. She could tell that Ned smelled the same. "We have to bathe."

"You bathed yesterday." Eddard said with a frown.

Cersei grabbed his hand and took him to the underground pools. They were the oldest and farthest away, lest they be seen by the servants. "Wait for me here." She said and scurried to her chambers to get soaps and clean clothes for both of them.

She went back quickly and found Ned where she left him. She fortified herself and began undressing. Her husband turned around. Cersei thought it was a bit ridiculous by then. She did not appreciate father's advice but she could no longer be a virgin wife. He had to take her maidenhead. It was a matter of security. Cersei needed to be practical. Ned would not be rid of her if she were his. Ned could be manipulated. Her father was correct, Rhaegar was not an option anymore. Knowing father, he would sell her to someone else but if she had a child or she were claimed it would be harder. She had to seduce Ned Stark.

Cersei stood by the pool and waited for Ned to turn around. He did not do so. "Turn around. You have to be in the pool to wash yourself."

Her husband undid his tunic but left his breeches. He turned to her and saw her. "You have to drop your breeches." She said quickly.

Ned nodded and did so. Cersei looked at him quickly. "Are you a maid?" She asked. It was silly to apply that word to a man.

Her husband blushed, "No, I, Robert took me to a tavern after my parent and my brother died. It was only one girl. Her name was Wylla."

Cersei came closer, "you don't have to tell me." She said quickly. She was a lady and did not need to know more about his past dalliances.

"I am a maid." Cersei whispered. "You see; I was educated to wait for my lord husband."

Ned's eyes turned a little dark. "My lady, I am not sure what you want out of me." He said roughly.

"I have never been kissed either." She mused and was almost nose to nose with him. Cersei was a tall woman but so was lord Stark.

Ned finally took the hint and kissed her gently. Cersei kissed him back. He deepened the kiss and then she felt his tongue. Cersei touched his tongue with hers and they kept kissing. Ned pulled back and looked at her. "I like kissing you." She said truthfully.

Ned smiled at her and kept kissing her. She felt his arms around her and also felt other parts of him. Cersei tensed a little bit. Her husband took the lead and dipped into the pool.

"We do not have to do anything." Ned said and grabbed a soap.

She nodded, "have you ever loved anyone other than Rhaegar?" He asked her softly.

Cersei frowned, "I never had a conversation with the prince."

Ned looked at her face impassively, "and yet you loved him. You saw him and Lyanna and it broke your heart. You said it yourself last time."

Cersei stayed quiet. They bathed in silence.

"Robert will kill him." Ned said once again.

Cersei felt her heart constrict a little, "you said that before."

Ned watched her and his eyes softened, "he will fall to Robert in the Trident."

"You appear so sure of the outcome. Are you a seer?" Cersei said a little sarcastically. She picked some of it from Tyrion.

Her husband nodded seriously, "I have the gift."

Cersei laughed at him. Her husband offered her a sad smile in turn. "You truly are breath taking."

"Thank you." She said and did not pursue the Rhaegar issue.

They finished washing and then dressed for bed. Cersei grabbed his hand and smiled when a servant saw them.

Cersei looked at him and smiled, "kiss me again." She said while grinning at him. He touched her cheek and kissed her once more. Cersei pressed closer to him. He stopped kissing her and moved to kiss her neck. She liked it, in fact, she wanted more and told him so.

Ned kissed her forcefully then. Cersei was surprised by the strength of it. Her lord husband then touched her breast. Cersei felt her skin prickle and tingles down her center. She moaned and her husband swallowed her moan. "May I touch you?"

Cersei kissed his lips, "you are touching me."

He grinned and shook his head, "you really are a maid." He said and his fingers traveled to the hem of her night shirt.

She felt his fingers dance on her thighs and then dipped to her lady parts. She gasped when he grazed her core. He moved his fingers and touched up and down. "You are wet."

Cersei squirmed, "should I not be?" She asked. She read that a man's thing went inside there but Ned was quite big. He would not fit.

Cersei frowned, "I saw you earlier. I do not think you will fit." Her husband laughed. A real laugh, loud and strange. She was equally surprised when he entered two fingers inside of her and then touched her little button. She forgot about him fitting because she was too concerned with not moaning too loud or embarrassing herself. Her hips moved up on her own accord. Cersei was very confused with her body when she felt herself contract around his fingers. She arched her back and received a kiss on her navel.

His eyes crinkled, "I will fit." He moved to his side and Cersei noticed the tent. "Let me see." She said and moved the sheet away from her husband. "It's bigger than before."

Ned looked at her confused, "it has to, otherwise it will not go in."

"Why?" She asked, he must know.

"I don't know." He said plainly.

"May I touch it?" She said and sat up by his side.

"Yes." Ned replied as she came close and inspected him. Cersei had seen his brothers' before but in passing. Jaime used to pee in front of her when mother was alive. Cersei hated it. She had changed Tyrion's small clothes when he was a babe.

She ran a finger over the length of it. It twitched, Cersei liked the groan that came from her husband. She then cupped his balls. Her husband opened his eyes and watched her with hungry eyes.

Cersei also liked that. She lifted her nightshirt and laid on her side. "I want to know what it is like."

Ned lifted his shirt too. "Are you sure?"

Cersei nodded, "I want to know how it will fit."

"Mount me. It will be easier if you do." He said and Cersei straddled his thighs.

Ned touched her and entered her with his fingers once more. He spread the wetness around her area and then rubbed himself. "I will guide you first."

Cersei was concentrated and followed his instructions. Soon she hovered over him and lowered herself gently, there was some resistance. Cersei felt a pinch and some discomfort and a very strange burning sensation. She was stretched all the way to accommodate Ned and it was not very fun, not like when he put his fingers inside her.

She gasped, "Ned, it hurts." Cersei scrunched her face and tried to move away from him.

Ned held her hands, "can you be brave for me? It hurts but I will make you feel so good. Can you stay still for bit?"

Cersei opened her eyes and saw her lord husband underneath him. He offered her a tentative smile. Cersei nodded and remained still. Her lower legs began to cramp after a few minutes. It was utterly uncomfortable. Cersei began to move and moaned when Ned grabbed her hips once again. He set the pace. Cersei moved again and liked how he felt. Her husband sat up. Cersei placed her arms around his neck and began to move again. "As if you were riding a horse." He kissed her neck.

Cersei moaned because he gathered her hair, pulled and changed the position. She fell on the bed when he attacked her neck with kisses and began to pump inside of her. Cersei gasped once more and felt him increase the pace. She encouraged him. He felt good inside of her. Cersei grabbed his back. Ned was broad. She said that out loud, her lord husband moaned. He liked it. "Ned." She said again. He shuddered over her. Cersei liked when he shuddered, it made her feel powerful. She could make him feel good. He was everything she was not, powerful, owner of lands and owner of his own destiny.

The woman, she was no longer a little girl, Ned made sure of that, lowered her hand to his ass and encouraged him to keep going faster. She felt good, it was nice and then Cersei felt him jerk inside of her. He was a little forceful. Cersei smiled, so this was fucking. She thought that it was nice.

"Did you come?" Ned gasped on the side.

Cersei frowned, "where?"

Ned blinked at her. "Cersei, you never touched yourself? You've never come?"

Cersei blinked at him, "you mean where you touched me?" She blushed and looked away. "That isn't proper. I am a lady."

Ned looked positively like mischievous. "Look at me." He said while touching her chin. Cersei was forced to look at him in the eyes.

"I am going to show you." Ned smiled. He stood up and grabbed a wet rag. Cersei had a basin of water nearby, to wash her face in the mornings. Ned cleaned her and kissed down her belly and lowered mouth to her core. Cersei frowned, "Don't do that." She said but Ned paid her no mind.

Cersei did not particularly like her lord husband kissing her there. She was about to ask him to stop when he sucked on the little button. She moaned and covered her mouth. Her husband stopped. "Don't do that. I want to hear you, it's the way that I learn how to please you." He said and set to work once more. Cersei tensed a bit but he started again. She felt liked him licking at her. She moaned once more and her eyes rolled back when Ned added his fingers too. She felt her legs shake around his neck and then her husband stopped. Cersei frowned at him. He kissed her mouth. Cersei kissed him back and tasted herself, it was the filthy, wrong but felt right when he went back to her core and made her forget.

She knew then, it had been nice when Ned took her but there was now a tension building. It built steadily until she let go. Cersei shook, she felt incredible pleasure, tingles, a weakness and a need for Ned to fuck her. She was coming down from the experience when Ned did. He was hard inside her but it didn't precisely hurt anymore. Her husband moved in and out of her. He whispered against her ear, "that's what it feels like. Now, I want you to come again, I want you to squeeze me tight."

It was as if Ned commanded her. She moaned again and again. Ned increased the pace and she felt herself squeezing around him for the first time. Her eyes opened and she let out a keening sound. She felt Ned collapse, his weight crushing her. He was sweaty and spent. She knew his seed was inside of her once more because there was liquid on the sheets, his spent and a wetness coming out of her. Had she bled again? Ned moved to the side pulled her to his chest. Cersei thought she should fix the beddings but she was tired and slept.


	13. Chapter 13

I don't won GoT

Please, keep reading and reviewing

Chapter 13

No one ever explained fucking to Cersei, at least not like Ned Stark. Serious, and quiet Ned Stark who appeared to not want to leave her bed. They had all of their meals in her quarters. Her father had not asked for their presence in the main hall.

It was their last day together before he was to leave to fight in the war. He pushed inside of her quickly. Ned told her that they were to try as much fucking as they could before he was to leave for war.

Cersei agreed, Ned liked fucking and so did she. "I'll have something sweet to remember if I die."

She remained quiet. He could die, Cersei kissed his lips. "You have to live." She said and grabbed his face to plant another kiss. Ned smiled and moved against her. Cersei knew that her lord husband and her were very compatible in the bedchamber. They learned what they liked amid laughter and blushing. She was the one blushing the most.

Cersei felt the tell-tale signs of her impeding pleasure. She felt as Ned bit her lightly on the neck. He grinned at her from the side. Cersei was breathless but felt satisfied.

They faced each other when there was a knock on the door. Cersei made to stand up when the knocking did not stop. "Let me." He said and put on his breeches.

His demeanor changed, he became lord Stark once more. It was a maid with a letter. Cersei sat up and let the sheet fall to her middle when he came back to bed. He was rigid and started dressing.

"Why are you dressing?" She asked him. There was a seriousness on his face, a silence.

"I'm leaving for Dorne." He said and moved to put on his riding garb and boots.

Cersei knew that it was the time. She needed to be smart about this. He received negative news. She could not read the letter contents. Ned pocketed them before she had a chance to take a look at it. She needed to think quickly.

"Ned, is it about Lyanna?" Cersei asked and tried to look as worried as possible. She tried to think about what would happen if it were Tyrion kidnapped.

Ned looked at her and nodded, "I have to leave Cersei."

She nodded and went to him. She kissed his lips gently. They were almost the same height. He was perhaps a bit taller. "Take care."

He smiled at her gently, his grey eyes looked kind once more, "I enjoyed myself very much."

Cersei smiled too, "I did too. Ned, you have to be smart. You must protect Lyanna, sometimes we have to make hard decisions to protect those we love."

Ned kissed her once more, "I will write to you once I reach Dorne. Your father will keep you safe here. I wanted you to go to the Eyrie. I know how much you care for Tyrion."

Cersei nodded and was truly impressed with his kindness. "I have to stay here for now."

Ned kissed her hands, "not for long. You will go North and your brother will go with you. I promise you." He said.

Cersei smiled again but knew that it would not pass. She was decided to not go North. It would simply not do.

She dressed with a shift and saw her husband off the castle. He was accompanied with the Cragnoman and a very small amount of men. This was a covert operation then.

She went back to her quarters and readied for breakfast. She was not surprised to see father and Jaime arguing on the main hall.

They both turned their gazes to her. Cersei returned the frown, "when did he leave?"

"Earlier, mayhaps three hours ago." She replied and took a seat.

Her father looked at her with barely concealed anger. "Your brother and husband were to leave for the Trident this early afternoon."

Cersei blinked at her father. He never truly cared for her best interests. He cared for his. She needed to learn to care for her own, "he left this morning."

Jaime gave her a look, "Cerse, he's not left for the Trident. Rumor has it that he's gone to Dorne. He left his men to go to the Trident."

Cersei blinked once more, she then started to eat her bacon. "Are you leaving today?" She asked her brother.

"Of course, he is. Why did your husband leave for Dorne?" Her father asked her.

Cersei buttered some of her toast, "I do not know. I assumed he would leave early to gain a head start. You always do when we go to the Capital."

Tywin Lannister's anger was swift, "do not take me for a fool. You have gained his confidence. The maids reported that you are finally deflowered."

Jaime looked uncomfortable, "father, may we please…"

Tywin did not let him finish, "where did he go?"

"Why is he going to Dorne?" her father asked once more.

Cersei pushed her plate away, "he did not say. He did not speak to me. I did my duty and bedded him." She stood up and left the hall.

Jaime followed her to the gardens. "Cerse." He called after her. Cersei sat by a bench and looked at the flowers.

Jaime sat by her, "why did he leave Cerse?"

Cersei looked at Jaime and decided to keep Ned's whereabouts quiet. It would be best if Jaime did not know. He was impulsive, rash at times.

"I don't know." She said and cried a bit because it was the first time she told Jaime a lie about something important.

Jaime nodded and hugged her. "Cerse, did he? Did he hurt you?"

Cersei shook her head, "no he did not. He was kind."

Jaime looked away from her, "you may learn to love him. He is quiet."

Cersei laughed, "he could be. Will you learn to love Lysa?"

Jaime made a face, "never. Father said that she is rather strange."

"She is." Cersei said and changed the subject to Lysa's eccentricities.

Jaime frowned, "I made sure that she will not bear my children."

"How?" Cersei asked him.

Jaime blushed "I did not finish inside of her."

Cersei nodded, "oh, I may be with child."

Jaime frowned, "would you like to be?"

Cersei shrugged, "I do not know. If he dies and I am childless I will back with father and married off to someone else."

"Perhaps you'll marry a king." Jaime said with a smile. "And be queen."

Cersei did not meet Jaime's eyes. "So that is the plan, for Ned to die so that I can marry Baratheon."

Jaime nodded slowly, "one of them. The other one is for Sansa and Catelyn to perish and have you hold the North with Eddard. If Baratheon marries Lyanna."

It made sense but the plans did not appeal to her. "Why does he confide in you?"

Jaime laughed, "he does not. I heard him speaking to uncle Kevan. I can be just as sneaky as Tyrion when need be."

Cersei laughed with him, "our baby. He's not written to me yet."

"He is not our baby anymore. He is a smart young man." Jaime replied.

Cersei nodded, "do you have time for a walk?" They were ignoring the fact that he was off to war once more and this time he could die.

"I always have time for my sweet sister." He said and kissed her cheek. They walked for an hour before a rider fetched him. Jaime was to say his goodbyes.

Father nodded at him. Cersei hugged him tight. "Be careful and come back to Casterly Rock."

Jaime kissed her cheek. "I love you sweet sister." He then mounted his steed and off he was. Lysa had felt poor all day and remained in her quarters.

Cersei awaited letters but none came. She had her moon blood on time as every month. Lysa however was with child. Her father offered Lysa a rare smile after the maester announced the pregnancy. Cersei did not care much to be completely honest. She wanted to know of the war. She wanted letters from Ned. He would tell her. There were battles in the Trident but no major deaths. Robert and Rhaegar were alive, yet to face each other.

There were no letters from Ned. Tyrion wrote to her weekly but he did not have any news of the war. He was well protected in the Eyrie with Arryn and the Royces. They treated him well. The news arrived through uncle Kevan who came back home. She was called to her father's solar.

"Have a seat Cersei." Her father

Uncle Kevan came home with a babe in his arms. A black-haired babe from what she could see. He cried in uncle Kevan's arms.

Cersei sat down, "he is your husband's, a bastard." Father said firmly.

Cersei and Ned were married for seven months now. This babe was conceived before their marriage. He was Ned's, bastards were a threat. This baby was a threat to her unborn children.

"Eddard's sent him to you." Father continued. "He's written to ask you if he may stay with you. He asks that you find it in your heart to take care of him."

Cersei looked at her father, "my lord husband asked. Is there another option?"

"He is to journey North if you so desire. Eddard sent one of his men to transport him if you so wish. Cersei then noticed the man. It was Howland Reed. He would not part from Howland if it were not important. The babe was important indeed.

Cersei stood up and grabbed the babe, "What is his name?" She asked Howland.

"He is unnamed my lady. Lord Stark thought the babe would perish during the journey." Howland replied.

Cersei nodded, "Jon." She said a nod to both Jon Arryn and Joanna Lannister.

Her father looked at her calculatingly. "That boy is not a pet."

"He is not." Cersei said and rocked the small baby. He could not be older than a month or two.

"I forbid you to have him here." Her father said.

Cersei looked at her lord father, "very well father. I cannot ask you to keep me here. I will journey North. Lord Reed, could you procure us a litter?"

"My lady I am to journey to King's Landing and join the fight on the city." Howland replied.

Cersei frowned, "the trident has fallen to your brother and Baratheon." Uncle Kevan replied.

"Your brother set out to King's Landing with your husband. They plan to take it for Baratheon." Her father said simply.

Rhaegar was dead then. Cersei fought back tears. She wanted to cry and cry until her eyes were dry. She forgot that she swore to herself to not shed more tears for the prince.

"I will go North." Cersei said unflinchingly. She knew that father would not agree to such a Journey. It was summer but the roads were filled with thieves and perils.

"Cersei, go to your quarters." Her father said with finality.

"I wish you good fortune." Cersei said to Howland Reed.

"My lady." The man bowed to her.

Cersei carried the babe to her quarters. She needed to concentrate on the babe. If he needed her she could distract herself from the pain of forever losing Rhaegar. The babe smelled and cried mightily. She called for Rae, her hand maid, "Fetch Ilsa from her home. She is to breastfeed this babe." Cersei had the maid bring clean clothes and prepare the tub to bathe little Jon.

Cersei began to unswaddle the child when she noticed that the letter in the cloth. She smiled. Ned knew no one but Howland or a woman would change the cloths.

Ilsa came hurrying. She took Jon and fed him. The babe drank greedily. He was very hungry. Ilsa stayed quiet while Cersei occupied herself with the letter.

Dear lady wife,

If you are reading this letter you have accepted to take care of the child. I am leaving for King's Landing to take it from the Targaryens. The babe is mine blood. He is three months old. Please care for him. I hope to be reunited with you once more.

Ned.

Cersei read it once more. There was something that did not make sense to her. The times did not add up. Ned told her he laid with one woman just before their marriage and that was seven months ago. Three months old. Ned left for Dorne three and a half months ago. This babe was born when he reached Dorne. He was not his. He was Lyanna's and the prince's. Something of Rhaegar's. She turned to the maid.

"M'lady, the babe is asleep." Ilsa said.

Cersei folded the letter and hid it once more. "Thank you. I shall need you to feed him again. I do not think he will sleep through the night."

Ilsa nodded, "my Cora sleeps through the night." Cersei could not care less.

"You will have your old quarters." The woman stood up and tried to leave with Jon.

"He will sleep here." Cersei took the babe and washed him. He woke up and cried.

"You will not sleep while dirty. Is not becoming." Cersei said and washed him.

Cersei watched him carefully and asked him gently, "is your mother alive?"

The babe was fast asleep, "she cannot be. Otherwise, she would not have let you go. You are motherless. Ned needs to think smartly. We'll help him, you'll be a prince my love, come to your right place"

Cersei stood up and carried him down to Ilsa. She then went down to the stables. She found Howland Reed about to mount a horse.

"You must tell him something for me." Cersei said quickly.

Howland Reed stayed quiet but nodded.

"Tell him Jon, the babe, he needs to come to his inheritance. He must find a way to protect him." Cersei finished.


	14. Chapter 14

I don't own Game of Thrones

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Chapter 14

Cersei remembered taking care of Tyrion. Jon required a fair amount of her time. She cleaned after him and made sure that Ilsa fed him appropriately. Jon was not a picky eater. He ate greedily and was soon a big boy with rosy cheeks and black hair. He appeared to have Lyanna and Ned's grey eyes.

Cersei thought he was a cute looking baby. She played with him and looked at him for hours. He kicked his feet and giggled all the time.

Her father did not approve so Cersei threw herself into the baby. She carried him everywhere with her. She liked staying in the gardens with him. Jon would look around quietly. Cersei could tell that he was observing everything.

Her father called her to his solar about three weeks after Jon came to Casterly Rock.

"Robert Baratheon is dead and your husband sits on the throne." Her father said with a smirk.

Cersei tried to not reveal how much it pleased her to hear the news. Rhaegar's killer dead a fitting punishment. "How is Jaime?"

"I suspect he will be here soon enough. Your husband demands that you and his bastard travel to Casterly Rock. We will leave in two days." Her father continued. "Now, we have the issue of this child. You will send him away. He cannot be with you and Eddard. The bastard must be sent away.

Cersei nodded and left the room. She went into her quarters and looked at Jon. It made sense to send him away but Cersei found that she would not.

She looked at the baby and smiled. He was the last of Rhaegar. Her dashing Rhaegar, now dead. The woman remembered thinking of Rhaegar the other night. She cried herself to sleep. He hurt her even in death.

Cersei smiled at the sleeping baby, "we will figure something. Won't we little dragon?" She looked at him again and thought she could see a hint of violet in his eyes.

The next day found her near the kennels. She heard two of their workers speak.

"I heard it is her bastard child. They all know that she was deflowered in Harrenhall. The old lion is covering for her. Rae said she cares for the boy like a mama. That's no bastard child."

Another voice joined in, "she could not have been with child. Her figure didn't change."

"Did you see her? I expect you didn't, stranger things have happened. My sister carried twins and she barely put on weight. You wouldn't have known until she birthed them and then skinny as a twig." The first man said.

Cersei went to her quarters, Jon needed to eat. She found Ilsa waiting for them, "M'lady." She said. The woman's tits were full with milk. Cersei gave her the babe and looked for a golden necklace with rubies.

"Ilsa, how would you like this necklace?" Cersei asked her.

The girl frowned, "M'lady I could never own anything so beautiful."

Cersei smiled, "it's yours."

Ilsa frowned, "I cannot accept it. They would think I stole it."

Cersei frowned it was true. She then looked into her drawer and found a pouch of money. It was a sizable sum but less than the necklace.

"How about this?" She asked and showed Ilsa the golden dragons.

Ilsa smiled, "I could buy animals and my children would not go hungry anymore."

"This is what I will give you if you help me." Cersei said.

"Anything my lady." Ilsa said quickly.

"I need you to tell everyone that Jon is my child. You tell anyone who would listen that you saw me heavy with child and that I gave birth under the most secrecy." Cersei said.

"But m'lady you did not." The servant blinked.

Cersei frowned, "I did. you attended to me."

"M'lady, they wouldn't believe me. They would say I was spreading lies. Your lord father would have my head." Ilsa continued as Jon switched tits.

"We will leave for the capital tomorrow morning. You can go away. I would advise you to spend this money quickly. It is war time after all." Cersei said with a smile.

"Yes m'lady." Ilsa did not need more convincing after that.

She could hear her telling Rae the tale. "Were you with her Rae? All the time, what about the time after the little Lord left. She stayed in her room all the time and then there is a babe. Her milk dried up. That is no bastard child. Suppose Lord Tywin sent the babe away and then he came back because she was sick. Rae, you have to know, that is no bastard child. You know her, she only allowed the little Lord in her quarters. Not even Lord Jaime could be there."

Cersei smirked and went to sleep very easily. Jon would be hers to keep for a little bit more. Lysa saw her the following morning, her belly was big and she looked ugly. Her sister in law seemed to be in a world of her own. She was off talking to herself. Cersei ignored her. She did not care for Lysa at all.

Father rode ahead. Cersei entered the litter with the babe and off they were. She did not expect Ilsa to come with them. She was probably buying a goat or something. She made sure to stop at an inn and have Jon fed by a local woman.

They met Jaime halfway the Golden Road. He was fine, dirty but alive. She hugged him tight. "I am happy you are alive."

"I am happy too." Jaime said and greeted father next.

"Your family awaits you." He said when Jaime made to turn his horse and company.

"I daresay your wife may give birth sooner now that you will be home to take care of her. Godspeed." Father said and ended any discussions. Jaime nodded and rode to Casterly Rock.

Cersei knew that Ilsa would not be enough so she told every woman who fed Jon that he was her child, born before her wedding to Ned. She spoke of their love and how they could not wait. The women smiled at her, every single one of them. She felt elated when she saw the city again. Cersei did not think she would see it once again.

It was not the city she remembered, there was a trail of dead. People half naked, soldiers confused and children crying. It was horrible. Father appeared oblivious to all of it. They made their way to the Red keep and the throne room. Ned looked and his eyes lit up a bit. Father commandeered Ned away.

She found a Kingsguard, "Ser. Selmy." She knew him, he was younger than father but at least ten years older than her.

"My lady." He said with a frown.

"The babe and I need to find the King's quarters. He needs to be fed." The man looked away from her but led her to Rhaegar's private quarters. Cersei knew they were his, she tried to sneak in once and throw herself to the Prince.

The knight left her and Jon. She looked around and found a small dragon figure. She smiled and hid it under her dress. She would have something of his after all. Jon would learn about Rhaegar and have something of his father.


	15. Chapter 15

I don't own GoT

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Chapter 15

He hurt, his body and his heart ached. He was not the same since he saw Lyanna bleed out. She named him Aegon. Howland came back from Casterly Rock; the babe was now Jon. Jon Sand. He smiled when he learned that Cersei kept the child. She was good, so very good. He was taken aback when Jon Arryn told him about the marriage proposal and aid from the West. He agreed to it even after Catelyn's hand was thrown in the mix. It was a good idea. He was attracted to Cersei. He found her beautiful from their first meeting in the woods.

Howland relayed the message as soon as they met. Only Cersei knew that there was Targaryen blood flowing through the babe's blood. Ned was now near King's Landing about to storm the city when Howland's words replayed themselves.

"Jon must come to his inheritance." He was a Targaryen, but a bastard. There was Aegon and Rhaenys, the true heirs. Rhaegar was gone. He would win the throne for Robert. Lyanna was gone. Winterfell was safe and his. He would go to Winterfell with Cersei and have Jon as his bastard son. He would be protected, maybe he would go to the Wall. Catelyn and her daughter would always have a place to eat and a hearth in Winterfell.

Ned found Jaime Lannister who looked somber. They were to storm the city in a few minutes. Ned rode alongside him.

"You'll take care of them. Cersei and Tyrion. If I die. You'll have to take care of them." Jaime said as they prepared to ride in.

Ned nodded, "what of your child?" He learned that his brother in law would have an heir soon.

"I suppose." Jaime said.

Ned thought him cold then. How could he not care for the child? only Ned did not care much for Jon. He cared for Benjen. He must care for Jon too; he was the last he had of Lyanna. His poor beloved sister.

They stormed the city. Ned heard explosions and fell off his horse. There was fire everywhere. He ran ahead and saw people burning. He fought a few men and made his way to the Red Keep. He would kill Aerys with his own hands. It was his right after he killed his father and Brandon. That hatred fueled Ned to fight and kill all the men who stood between him and the throne room.

He was surprised to see Aerys on the floor with a vial of poison. The Targaryens took refuge there. He walked and saw Elia and her children lying on the floor too. He found a maester. Pycelle nervously looking at him.

"Leave." He thundered.

Jaime reached the throne room next. He and a few of their men. "They are dead, poisoned."

Ned looked at the throne and then at Jaime. "Any news of Robert?"

"Dead from his injuries." Jaime replied and walked alongside him.

Ned looked at Jaime, a first-born son. Jaime walked ahead of him. Ned understood that Jaime would claim the throne for himself, but should he? It was Ned who lost his sister, brother and father. It was Ned's nephew who was alive and who had the last legitimate claim on the throne.

Ned grabbed Jaime's shoulder. He drew his sword out. "You should ride to Casterly Rock and bring Cersei to me."

Ned walked up the last steps and sat down on the throne. He frowned when he felt the blades stab him lightly on the back.

"Of course." Jaime walked down the steps.

No one ever said anything about the aftermath in war. Ned learned things very quickly. He needed help. He sent for Jon Arryn. He needed counsel. He was the King by rebellion, by cause and by the fact that his ancestors were once Kings of the North. It was almost a week before the Spider made his presence known. He spun his tale. "Rhaella Targaryen is dead; her children will set out East in a fortnight." The Spider said slowly before skulking away.

Stannis arrived two days later with his host to help with the aftermath. He gave him his sword.

"You have my host and my sword." He said. Stannis was not jovial like Robert. He had a serious face, somber, but determined. Robert had described his younger brother as a bore.

Ned met Stannis only once years ago when he was no more than a child. He nodded, "I need you to sail to Dragonstone. Bring Prince Viserys and the babe to King's Landing. Their place is here."

"My brother died trying to stop the Targaryens. There will not be a Targaryen on that throne." Stannis said.

"Will you bring them for me?" Ned asked him. Could he kill them? Could he order them to be killed? He would not. He could not. He needed someone to talk to.

The answer came from the West. His lady wife arrived with her father three weeks after King's Landing fell to him. He was glad to see her face.

"Your grace." Tywin Lannister bowed in the throne room. Ned watched as Cersei entered with a small bundle on her arms.

Ned went down the steps to her and the babe. His father in law looked at him. "You need to form a council now."

"You need to have your vassal houses accounted for. There is a rumor that you have asked Baratheon to have the Targaryen boy and the babe come to King's Landing. It is a good start." The man began. Ned nodded. He would not take advice from Tywin Lannister. He was dangerous everyone knew so.

He looked toward Cersei but he was forced into a room with Lannister and other people he barely met. There was Mace Tyrell and three other men. Kevan Lannister, Yohn Royce and a tanned man. Dornish, this was Doran Martell, the Prince of Dorne.

"I have come to retrieve my sister and her children's bodies." The man said somberly. "Dorne is in mourning. We do not want any more wars." The man said and stood up. He limped and left the room.

Tywin took over. He had a plan of action. Ned found himself agreeing to things that appeared to make sense. The hosts were to return to their lands. There needed to be mass burials, ways to clean the city. Tywin spoke of a coronation. "You and Cersei need to be crowned in front of people."

Ned stood up. "I need to leave." He said and stood up. His head ached. He left for his quarters. He did not know it the first night he slept in them but they were Rhaegar's chambers.

Cersei was there seated with Jon in a crib. Where did she find a crib?

"We have to talk." Ned said in greeting.

Cersei nodded and followed him. She had Jon fast asleep. "He will sleep through anything. He's been fed. We had to find a nursemaid nearby. His old one could not come with us. She has two kids of her own."

Ned grabbed her hands and guided her to the weirwoods. It was the only solace of the stinking city. The weirwoods were home.

"I don't belong here." Ned said what was on his mind for once.

Cersei looked at him, "you are the king."

"Not yet. There needs to be a coronation and the Warden of the East has not agreed." Ned said quickly.

"Jon Arryn fought in Robert's rebellion." Cersei replied easily.

"You said it. Robert's Rebellion. I am Ned." He finished quickly.

His wife looked him with her green eyes. Cersei was pretty, very much so. He desired her greatly. He wanted her now. She spoke once more.

"Ned. Do you understand?" Cersei asked.

"I'm sorry. I did not hear you speak." Ned apologized to her.

"I said we will do whatever you want to do." Cersei said and led him to a bench. From the moment they married, Cersei had shown to be helpful to him. She was accepting, easy to talk to.

Ned looked at her. "You know."

His wife nodded, "I know that he is your nephew and that his father was Rhaegar." She said while looking at him.

"How did you know?"

Cersei looked at him, "you said you were only with one woman after your brother died. The babe is older."

"I could have lied to you." Ned said with a frown.

"Did you?" Cersei asked him frankly.

"No. I have not lied to you." He told her clearly. The headache returned, "what do I do? Your father is here. He is managing everything now. Jon is still far. He has no date to be here yet and I promised Lyanna."

"What did you promise her?" Cersei asked him.

Ned looked at her, "to keep him safe. To keep Aegon safe."

Cersei wrinkled her nose, "Jon. His name is Jon."

"Where is he the safest?" Cersei asked him.

"North with me, far from here." Ned immediately replied. "The Starks don't do well south. We simply don't."

Cersei grabbed his hand, "so you go North, who claims the throne? My father? Stannis Baratheon or perhaps someone rules until Viserys comes of age or the Targaryen babe? I was told she is a girl. I also know that you requested for them to be here. What happens when they learn that Jon is a Targaryen? He will have a target on his back."

Ned looked at her, "don't you see? You are the most powerful man in the Seven Kingdoms. You can protect your nephew. All you have to do is decide." She said.

"I can't." Ned said.

"Why did you climb the steps? Jaime said that he was closer." Cersei asked him and looked genuinely curious.

"I felt like it." Ned replied. He could not tell her that it was because he felt jealous of Jaime. He could not tell her that he did not want to be second best. It was a snap decision, a moment that he regretted ever since.

Cersei looked at him, "what will you do with Jon?"

"I don't know." Ned did not feel like the most powerful man in Westeros.

"I heard a rumor." Cersei said almost nonchalantly. "I heard that you deflowered me during Harrenhall's tourney. I heard that my father found us and I had to leave early. I also heard that I was pregnant with your child when we married in Casterly Rock. Jon is also said to have my high cheekbones."

"They saw you. Lysa, Tully and Jon Arryn. They all saw you marry me. You were not with child. The servants, the maesters. No one will believe it." Ned said.

Cersei did not appear defeated, "the world will believe whatever you want them to believe. You are the king after all."

Ned watched as she stood up, "Ned, you don't have a lot of time to think. What will it be? Lyanna's promise or going North, knowing that the lie could be unraveled?"

"What will you do when he understands where he comes from?" Cersei asked him. "You can protect him here, now, as the king. I don't think you will have the same chance if you are the Warden of the North." She said with a frown.

"What are you saying? Cersei, what are you thinking?" Ned was tired, exasperated. He needed space. He needed to be alone, away from her but near her. He did not understand any of this.

"You legitimize him. He becomes Jon Stark, crown prince. He inherits the throne. He is protected. He becomes king when you die." Cersei replied once and for all.

Ned looked into her eyes, "what of our children?"

Cersei smiled at him, "they were never meant to be kings or queens. You are a second son and I was never meant to marry a prince. Father tried."

Ned chuckled. He found himself startled by the sound. She did that, Cersei managed to make him chuckle and smile. It could not be enough. She was correct, he was a second son. He was not supposed to be king. He was supposed to have a holdfast up North or maybe become a knight or marry some lady and manage her lands. He even considered joining the Watch. Never, in a million years did he imagine that he could have Winterfell. It belonged to Bran, but now it could be his, only he held a bigger prize. He held the throne.

Cersei kept looking at him, "you think you can't do it."

Ned rubbed his eyes, "how could I? Cersei, I feel so lost, your father spoke and spoke and I had no idea what he said."

"You will learn. Your family comes from the First Men, do they not? Your ancestors were kings before the Targaryens arrived and united the Seven Kingdoms. All you need is help." Cersei repeated.

"Jon Arryn. He will be my hand." Ned told her.

Cersei nodded as they stood up, "you'll be breaking my father's heart but he will survive."

Ned chuckled again, they made their way back inside the castle. It would be hard work and he was unsure but the alternative was too uncertain. He needed the throne to protect Jon. He would have preferred anonymity for the boy but it was too late now. He could not go back, not now, not ever. The decision was made.


	16. Chapter 16

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Chapter 16

Cersei imagined this day from the moment she flowered. She imagined crowds, well-wishers, a beautiful golden gown and a golden crown. It was quite different from her mind but no less glorious. The Red Keep was filled with Westeros' most important families.

She was crowned by the High Septon who survived under Baelor's Sept. Her gown was white, as white as snow. Cersei wore her hair down, no braids, it made her look younger. She wore diamonds, Ned wore his leathers, he was clean shaven, she insisted. They needed to look young, new. He looked uneasy. They had barely seen each other since she came to King's Landing two weeks ago. Jon Arryn arrived the night before and took over as Hand of the King. Her father was furious and ranted for an hour. She took pleasure in it. He stayed back for the coronation, after all he arranged it.

The city was less ugly than when she first came. The crowns were forged in bronze with the runestones for the First men. Cersei would have preferred something flashier but it would do for now. Ned's was bronze too but it had iron spikes like longswords. It suited him. They walked the streets from Baelor's Sept to the Red Keep. Cersei smiled and waved at the crowds. She could see that some of the people were clean and looked better but she also knew that the city was in ruins after what Aerys did. They would need to reconstruct and make sure Westeros prospered.

Cersei and Ned were escorted back to the keep where there was a feast waiting for them. Her father sat next to her as she ate. He was very quiet, "I need a word after you are done. I will wait for you in your solar."

"Yes father." She said quickly. Cersei ate and spoke to some ladies before leaving for her solar. It used to be queen Rhaella's. It was spacious and filled with light. It had a garden too.

Her father waited for her by some rose bushes. Cersei would be replanting them. She did not like red roses so much.

"I heard something today." Her father began.

Cersei looked at him, "what did you hear father?"

He frowned, "I heard that the bastard will be now legitimate. He will hence by known as Jon Stark, our Crown Prince."

Cersei remained quiet. It was best to not argue with her father.

"I told you it was best to have him rid of. He should have gone north and disappear. You were too strong headed for your own good. He is now the heir." Her father continued and only raised his voice a fraction. He was furious.

"What would you have me do father? I am only but his wife." Cersei replied, "he is our King."

Her father glanced at her, "you will give him sons. You will produce an heir. The bastard situation will resolve itself. Do not get too attached to him. I do have to say, it was good thinking from your part to spread the rumor that he is yours."

Cersei smiled softly, "I would not be shamed." She looked at her father who then smiled at her. Cersei did not see many smiles from this man. She knew that perhaps Jaime saw a few more and that father never smiled at Tyrion.

He grabbed her hands and kissed them. "I told you once. You will be queen." He then kissed her forehead, "you must be careful and give him sons." He said and then left her.

Cersei wiped tears of frustration and anger. It was all Tywin Lannister thought she would be good at, birthing sons, securing the line for a throne that he felt his. She did not cry anymore. It would not be so easy for her father anymore. Ned had Jon Arryn who distrusted her father so deeply now more than ever. It was clear that her father wanted the Hand of the King position. Father however was needed in the West. He needed to oversee the mines productions and other affairs that Cersei was barely aware of.

She went back to the feast and found Ned talking to Jon Arryn in hushed tones. She could only make snippets of the conversation. She heard dragons and ships. Cersei talked to some of the high born ladies and smiled when they simpered about her dress and how beautiful her crown was. She nodded but died to be beside her husband listening to the conversation.

Her father joined her husband and Jon Arryn. They all moved to another room, his solar possibly. Cersei longed to know what was going on but decided to remain back. It would be noted if she were to leave.

Cersei continued mingling and speaking to different important people. It was at least an hour before her husband came back. He looked angry. He joined her and kissed her hand. "My queen." He said.

They stayed at the feast for another three hours before the eating turned into drinking, dancing and more revelry. "It is time you retired. Jon must need you." Ned said and led her to her quarters. He would have to go back to the feast. Cersei frowned and then understood when he opened the door. There was Jon's nurse maid feeding a bundle. She came closer and saw a babe with violet eyes and very fine platinum blond hair.

Cersei tensed and picked up Jon from his crib. She walked with him around the room. Jon was sleepy. He opened and closed his eyes. The nursemaid burped the other child and then left when she was told. Cersei watched as the babies slept next to each other. Cersei rang for her maid to come and help her undress. She wore a green shift and waited. He would come for her.

Ned and her did not share a bed since Casterly Rock. He did not approach her and it never felt correct to go to his quarters. He would have to come to her today. He owed her an explanation. What did he plan on doing with the Targaryen baby? And where was price Viserys?

She waited for another three hours before Ned made it through her door. He looked at her, "they could not kill her."

Cersei frowned, "did you order her killed?" She felt bile rise up her throat. Could she have misjudged this man? She would not kill a child, not even a Targaryen baby.

"No, but someone did. They attacked Stannis and his men near the port. They killed the Prince. He was a child." Ned said and his voice rose. "He was younger than Tyrion. He was afraid. He was a child." Ned repeated once more.

Cersei knew that Viserys was about to be seven years old. "Do you know who did it?"

Ned shook his head, "it was suggested that they could be Lannister men."

Cersei frowned, "by whom? Jon Arryn perhaps?"

Her husband did not look into her eyes. Cersei understood that he did not want to lie to her. She let that go.

"My father can be ruthless. He can be conniving and ambitious but killing children does not further any of his interests at the moment. Clearly, you can see that." Cersei felt the need to defend her sire.

Ned sat on her bed. "Stannis protected the child. He is severely injured. The maester said the following days are going to be crucial."

Cersei nodded. She never met Stannis Baratheon. She knew that he was younger than her by at least two years. It was all she knew of the man. He was said to be stern, and fastidious unlike his older brother.

"Is the babe the reason you left with Jon Arryn and father?" Cersei asked him.

"Yes." Ned replied. "They think she is a liability. They think she is a threat to my claim."

Cersei internally agreed. "What did they propose?"

"They want to disappear her. They want to give her to the silent sisters. That was Jon's suggestion. Your father proposed to hide her with an unknown family, give her to someone trustworthy but hide her." Ned replied. "They all know about the Prince's death. They all rejoiced in the death of a seven-year-old. They cheered, both high born and base born people." Ned said disgusted.

Cersei watched him, "what if we keep her?"

Ned frowned, "we can't keep her. She's a Targaryen."

"She is a threat but she is a babe. We keep her, we raise her as the princess she is. It whj ould be an act of infinite kindness."

"Your father would say it would be an act of weakness." Ned replied. Her husband was a quick study.

Cersei pursued her lips, "we raise her as ours, alongside Jon."

"Have you ever heard of that saying? Every time a new Targaryen is born, the gods toss the coin in the air and the world holds its breath to see how it will land." Ned continued.

Cersei nodded, "so why is she here Ned? Why have you let her stay with Jon inside that crib?"

"She smiled at me." Ned said off handedly.

Cersei chuckled, "she can't have smiled at you. She can't be so much older than Jon and Jon only smiles when he farts and shits."

Ned chuckled. "Maybe she did." Cersei watched the baby in the crib. She was a very pretty baby.

"What is her name?" Cersei asked him.

"Daenerys Stormborn Targaryen." Ned replied.

"She cannot be a Targaryen anymore, that name needs to be done. You cannot have anyone thinking of Targaryen when they see this babe. She needs to have our name. We'll keep Daenerys because it is hers but she must be Stark like Jon. There won't be more Targaryens. Only Starks from now on." Cersei said convinced that was correct. The little girl needed to feel them as hers.

"Daenerys Stormborn." Ned whispered at her and Cersei saw the girl look at him and smile.

"She does smile at you." Cersei said and laughed when he grinned.

He approached her and kissed her hands, "my queen." He said and looked at her with stormy grey eyes.

Cersei kissed him gently and Ned responded softly to her. "I miss you." He kissed the side of her neck. "Why have you not come to my bedchambers?" He rasped.

Cersei kissed his cheek, "you could have come to mine. I thought it would not be proper to seek you."

Ned shook his head and looked to lower her shift. "I did not want to overwhelm you."

Cersei sought his mouth and kissed him until they moaned. Ned placed her hand on his cock. He was hard and heavy. "Not here, not near the children." Cersei frowned and took his hand. She led him to a door. This was the door between his quarters and hers. It was a short passageway. She grinned.

Ned opened the other door for her. "Someone put a dresser." He said and moved the furniture to a corner.

"The queen before me was not fond of her king." Cersei replied. She knew Aerys hurt Rhaella. Daenerys was the product of violence.

Ned looked away somberly. That would not do, she wanted him inside of her. She lowered her shift. Her husband looked at her and started to undress too. She kissed him again. Ned responded eagerly and pushed her to the bed. His breeches were on her way. She lowered them enough for him to try and enter her.

She was not so ready for him. Ned spat on his hand and wetted her. It was filthy and she moaned when he fingered her. "I want you to be nice and wet and I want to come inside." He said and entered her. Cersei gasped and moaned when he pulled out and pushed in. She moved with him. They grunted and she felt the tell-tale signs soon enough. Need pinched her button and she could not open wide enough for him. She came with his name on her lips. Ned smiled and kissed her once more. He sought his own pleasure from then on. She kissed his face when he slumped breathless over her. She caressed his face and smiled. "I want you to lick my cunt."

Ned's eyes rounded but he dove into her almost as soon as she finished her sentence. Cersei ended the night riding the king of Westeros.


	17. Chapter 17

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Chapter 17

Cersei had a very busy day. She woke up earlier than Ned. He was still sprawled and half naked. Cersei stood up and put on her robe. She walked through the passageway and found that Dany was awake and poking Jon.

"You mustn't do that Dany." Cersei said and picked the small child. She grinned at her and clapped her hands. Dany made sounds. She was far more vocal than Jon.

"Yes sweetling, you are awake." Cersei said and called for the nursemaids for their feedings. Cersei thought that it was time for the nursemaids to stop. Tyrion was fed until he was eight months. Jon was now seven months and Dany was about eight as per Ned's calculations.

The past few months were not easy. Father and Jon Arryn were united at last. They thought having Dany as a princess was a mistake. They tried to make Ned change his decision but it was not to happen. Dany was their princess. Cersei could tell that she was Ned's favorite. Cersei smiled at the young girl. Daenerys was beautiful. She was also a very good baby, smart and so precocious.

"My Dany girl." Cersei said as she sang to her. Daenerys had beautiful violet eyes. Rhaegar's eyes. Sometimes Cersei liked to imagine that she was her little girl with Rhaegar. It made her very happy. Her father called her a foolish child for letting Dany and Jon in her home. Cersei blamed Ned and his strong mindedness.

Jon was legitimized and crowned heir apparent during an open ceremony in front of the noble houses. Oh, how they claimed that Jon had her lips and her bone structure. They all cheered for him, all hypocrites. She showed Jon to the crowds who cheered. Cersei smiled at them. They all cheered for the small boy. Cersei believed them before she believed the lords and ladies of Westeros. The smallfolk loved them. It did not matter that Ned worshipped his Old Gods while she subscribed to the Seven. She actually stopped believing in the Gods when her mother died. The Lords and Ladies of Westeros brought the fact that Ned was a non-believer and that his children would be godless. Jon Arryn and her united for a rare time. She made a show of being the devoted Queen. There were assurances that the Seven would be upheld. Ned could not care any less.

The Westerosi appeared to love their young monarchs and the crown prince was said to be strong and handsome. Daenerys did not get the same love Jon did. There were some security threats, people claiming that the last dragon should be put to the swords, burnt like so many of the other children. It was a stroke of genius to proclaim her a Stark. It diminished the threat and placed Cersei as the new "Mother." Cersei became the virtuous and pious queen whose love for the damned and the less fortunate filled her with joy. Ned instead was seen as a loving and merciful king who welcomed a young and abandoned child. It was perfect and even Jon Arryn had to bend his will.

"You'll have to make them love you sweetling. I know you can." Cersei whispered as Dany's nurse came in and fed her first. Jon was much slower to wake up. He blinked at her and mewled.

"You are so lazy, a lazy little wolf." She said and picked him up. He looked blearily around and rested his head on her shoulder. He had beautiful black locks. Cersei loved to play with them.

The nurse finished with Dany and she gave her Jon. She had Daenerys back on her arms, "How about a nice bath pretty girl?"

Dany clapped her hands again and again, "yes, my sweet."

One of the maids prepared the large basin. Cersei liked to bathe the children herself. She cleaned Dany first. Dany liked her water very much. She giggled and clapped the water, "you are such a happy babe." She said and blew raspberries on her belly. Dany laughed uncontrollably. Cersei smiled and dressed her. The nursemaid placed her on the bed surrounded by pillows, lest she fall.

She bathed Jon and also blew raspberries on his belly. He grabbed her hair and pulled, "not nice Jon. The boy laughed and heartily. She placed him near Dany. Cersei then dismissed the maidens and put them on the floor. They had beautiful toys, Cersei played with bright blocks. Ned came in an hour later.

They established a routine. Ned played with them for an hour and then went to council meetings all day. Cersei wrote her letters, read letters from Tyrion and Jaime and then helped with the distribution of food and medicine for the people in the city. There was also an orphanage and a place for people to find survivors from the fires. There were missing people and children waiting for parents. Cersei helped every day. It was good for the people to see her as kind. They needed to be loved for their reign to work.

She watched as Dany crawled, her little face determined to climb the mountain that was Ned Stark, "papa, papa, papa." Ned looked at her and then at the little girl on the floor, "papa, papa."

He picked Dany up and swung her up. The girl squealed in the air. She then hugged him and let out a high pitch giggle.

Cersei grinned, "so are you letting her call you papa?"

Ned kissed Dany's torso, "why wouldn't I? Dany is my little princess."

Cersei nodded. Jon crawled around and picked up and red block. He was about to put it on his mouth, "no, no. You'll choke." She said and took it away.

Jon frowned and cried. Ned dropped to the floor and went for him. She was about to hit him when he made a face at Jon. It was a silly face. She laughed and Jon followed. Dany joined the fray and started laughing.

Ned let them play for a bit and then looked at her, "how many meetings do you have?"

"Five, six, and then petitioners." Ned said while taking the red block for himself.

"I didn't have these growing up." Ned pocketed it.

Cersei shook her head, "neither did I. Tyrion had them made, he sent them last week." Cersei thought of her baby brother all by himself in the Eyrie.

She plead with him and father to have him come to King's Landing. It was not father who refused. It was Tyrion. He said he liked living in the Eyrie and that he was learning different things. He said he would visit soon.

"You can make him come to King's Landing. Ned, please." She then plead with her husband.

"Cersei, of course I cannot. He is not of age, and subject to your lord father. I cannot undermine his authority because you long for him." Ned defended his decision to not intervene. Cersei was upset and did not visit his quarters for a week. Ned however found ways to ingratiate himself. He looked at her and whispered what he wanted to do to her at night. He would be thoughtful and ask her to the gardens when he had time and he would also ask her opinion on things. Ned consulted with her about laws and she forgot to be angry with him.

Ned stood up when a Kingsguard came to get him. She did not remember his name. Cersei had to say most of them were faceless to her. "I will see you later for supper." He said and kissed her lips. He kissed Jon's forehead and kissed Dany's forehead too.

Cersei played with them a bit more and then they napped. Cersei read her letters. One from Jaime,

Dearest sister,

I hope you are well. I am afraid I have some bad news. Lysa has killed herself. She jumped out of her window. The twins are being taken care of by their nursemaid. Lysa's health declined steadily after Joanna and Minisa were born. She refused to see the babes. The story is that a fever took her. She was buried last week. Cerse, I need you, I need your help sister. I am rather sad. I didn't love her but I know have the girls and I don't know what to do. Father insists on a second marriage, a mother for the girls. Please Cersei come home.

Your loving brother,

Jaime.

Cersei read the words and knew she had to go to Casterly Rock and help him. Jaime would not ask for help and not write the truth in a letter if it she was not needed. She had to go there and get Jaime some help. She began to make arrangements that afternoon. She would need to have the babes ready for the journey. It was only appropriate that she would go to her family in this time of pain. Cersei made sure it was all settled by the evening. She decided to not take a nursemaid with her and start the children on solids only. She put Jon and Dany to sleep and joined her husband on his solar. They usually had dinners there.

There was something off about his demeanor. Cersei tried to make conversation but Ned barely responded.

Cersei had to tell him that night. She was to leave the following morning, "Jaime wrote today. Lysa is dead. She killed herself."

Ned frowned. He knew, there was no surprise in his eyes, "who told you?"

"Varys." Ned replied,

"Of course, him and his little birds." Cersei said. "You have to be careful around him. He is not to be trusted."

"I am sure he is not, no one in this forsaken city is to be trusted and now you want to leave me." Ned said with a growl.

"My brother needs me." Cersei replied primly.

"I need you here. I am your husband." Ned argued back.

Cersei looked at him, "I will be back before you know it. I will write to you every week but I need to go to Jaime now."

Ned shook his head, "No."

Cersei frowned, "Ned, I have to be with my brother. He's lost his wife, he has two young girls. I have to help him for a bit."

"So, you would leave us, your husband and children?" Ned asked her.

Cersei shook her head, "I am taking the babes. It would only be for a few months."

Ned looked impossibly hurt, "so it is only me you are abandoning. Very well my queen." He stood up so fast his chair almost fell. He left her.

Cersei stayed back dazed by his reaction. She smiled then, she was important to him, so important that he did not want to let her go. She smiled. This was more than attraction and desire.

Cersei went into his quarters. He was forcefully undoing his leathers, a tantrum from a king. A good king. A king that was needed in the capital.

"I don't want to fight with you Ned." She said came close to him. "I don't think you understand my bond to my brothers. They were all I had for so long. Jaime is the heir, but I am older. I need to help him now, just for a bit." She was in front of him. He was seated on his bed.

Ned looked at her and kissed her belly, "Cersei, I need you here. You make sense out of all this for me. Don't leave." He held her. Cersei picked up her skirts and straddled him.

"I will only be gone for a few months. Nothing more, that goes by quick. Ned, you'll be so busy you won't even know I am gone." She said and kissed his lips.

He kissed her back forcefully. Cersei slowed him down. "I could go with you." He said as he pulled her dress away from her. "Why do you have to wear so many things?" He said as he undid the bodice and unlaced her.

She kissed his ear, "you can't leave the capital. They all need you here." She said and bit his lobe. Ned massaged her tits and lowered his face.

"I could go. I am the king." He scraped his teeth over the valley of her breasts. Cersei ground up and down his lap. She giggled and grabbed his hair, "you are, which is why you cannot leave."

Ned frowned and turned her to the bed, "get rid of the skirts." He said as he lowered his breeches. She went back to his lap and ground over him. Ned aligned himself and entered her. Cersei smiled and started to fuck him. Ned smiled at her.

"You look so good fucking me." He told her. Cersei bit his lip. "Ned, you feel so big."

Ned moved her hips rapidly; the friction made her moan loudly. She grabbed his hand and placed it on her button. Ned touched her there and continued to move her over him. She contracted around him and milked him until he was biting her neck and licking the bite.

He kissed her once more. Cersei kissed him. "We will be back very soon my king." She said. Ned kissed down her middle and used his fingers and mouth to make her explode once more.

Cersei felt her whole body shaking but Ned held no quarters and fucked her once more before placing his hands on her cunt and falling asleep.


	18. Chapter 18

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Chapter 18

Ned could have forced her to stay in the Capital. She was very aware of that. He did not ask her to stay the following morning when she readied Jon and Dany for the journey. Ned picked Jon who was fussy that morning.

"Leave Jon with me." He said in greeting.

Cersei frowned, "no, Dany and him come with me. They need me." She said and carried Dany who tried to reach for Ned.

"papa, papa, papa." She mumbled. "Yes my love, papa is over there." She said as they walked out to the courtyard. The carriage was ready for them. Cersei would go with Ser Selmy.

Cersei frowned at him, "I don't need the Lord Commander. He is supposed to protect you."

Ned kissed her hands, "I need him to make sure that you and the children are safe."

Cersei kissed him gently on the lips. "Take care and do not listen to the Spider. Be careful Ned." She whispered as she embraced him.

Ned bowed to her and gave her one last kiss. Cersei had a maid come with her and help her with the babies. Their journey was much quicker now that there were very few soldiers and movement. The inns were less crowded as well. Dany was fussy because she wanted breast milk but there was none to be had. Jon was much more agreeable during the journey.

They arrived to the Rock an early morning. She settled the babies in the nursery. Joanna and Minisa slept quietly. They had Lysa's look, red haired, rosy cheeked babies.

She left Dany and Jon on another crib. They were prepared for them. Cersei watched as Ilsa came in. "My queen." Ilsa said happily. The woman was heavily pregnant.

Cersei smiled at her, "It is good to see you." She said.

"I've come to feed the girls. Do I feed your babies too?" Ilsa asked her.

"No need." She said and moved to the halls in search of Jaime or father.

She found none but her heart almost gave out when she saw her baby brother eating bacon in the main hall.

Cersei ran to him and hugged him, "what are you doing here?"

Tyrion laughed and let her kiss him again. "I came for Lysa's funeral and never left."

Cersei frowned, "you said that you liked the Eyrie."

"I lied. I didn't want you to worry." Tyrion explained and offered her bacon.

Cersei kissed his cheek and accepted the offer.

"Tell me, how are things here?" Cersei asked him.

Tyrin looked at her, "good. Father is being nicer to Jaime."

Cersei watched him closely, "don't lie to me."

"Jaime is not well. He is drinking too much. You know very well that he did not care for Lysa but he now has two children. I think he thought that Lysa would grow to care for the babies. I think he feels guilty because he could not care to spend any time with Lysa and now she is gone." Tyrion explained.

"How is father behaving?" Cersei asked as she had some toast.

"Like father." Tyrion replied.

"Cold, impatient and short with everyone then." Cersei replied.

"Very well put." Tyrion replied. They ate breakfast and Tyrion told her everything that happened in the Eyrie.

He explained the lands as best as he could. "They have these cells where they put prisoners. They overlook the mountains, if you fall asleep and you roll..." Tyrion made a face.

Cersei frowned, "did anyone put you there?"

"No. I don't think they would have dared. They hate father but they know that I am a Lannister and I also made it known that I am your favorite baby brother." Tyrion grinned. Cersei kissed his forehead.

"You will come with me to the Capital." Cersei told him.

Tyrion nodded eagerly. Father joined them briefly, "you did not have to come. Lysa was sent to the Riverlands two weeks ago." He said after he kissed her cheek.

"I had to pay my respects." Cersei said innocently.

"How long can we expect you to stay with us?" Her father asked her once he was done with his meal.

"Not long. Ned asked for my visit to be brief." Cersei replied.

Her father nodded and left. "One could never call him cold. Such a welcome to his only daughter." Cersei said to her younger brother.

"Well, you had some words with him. All I get are glares and the occasional curt word. I'd say that is the most affectionate he can be." Tyrion told her seriously.

Cersei suddenly felt ashamed of herself. She grabbed Tyrion's hand, and kissed it, "I love you very much."

Tyrion smiled, "I know you do." He said and kissed her hand. "Now, I must be off. I am to read some books before the night is upon us."

He would be in the libraries then. Cersei stopped him, "you must come to my quarters so you can meet my children."

Tyrion nodded, "only you would do such a thing sweet sister." He said and waddled out of the halls.

Cersei stood up and went to Jaime's quarters. She knocked three times before going in. Cersei found her twin on his bed. She didn't have to come closer to know that he would reek of alcohol.

She looked around the quarters and found several empty flagons. She picked them up and had some maids come inside the room to clean it. Cersei saw as her brother woke up.

"Cerse." He said with a grimace. He was clearly feeling the after effects of the wine and mead he ingested.

She came close and kissed his cheek. He smelled horribly. "You need to take a bath. Go. I'll have Rae bring some food for you." She said in greeting.

Jaime did so. She waited for Jaime to come back. The maids brought the food and a flagon of wine.

"No more wine for the lord. Bring juices for him." She said.

Jaime came back, he sported a beard, "Shave it off. It does not suit you." Cersei said.

Jaime smiled at her but shaved it off. He ate quietly. "Tell me." Cersei whispered once he was done.

"I found her. She bled out." Jaime said. "Father made up that story of the fevers. Hoster Tully knew better than to ask for a lot of explanations. It is all my fault. I should have tried. She was so lonely, and always crying about something or other. She cried about a babe. I thought she would get better once the babe arrived. It was worse. Lysa couldn't look at the girls. She would not feed them. What kind of mother hates her children?" Jaime asked her angrily.

Cersei thought of something happening to Dany or Jon and she felt pain in her belly. They did not come from her but they loved her. Dany's eyes lit up when she saw her and Jon was such a good jolly boy. "We knew she was a bit off." Cersei said in consolation.

"I wish it all went away." Jaime told her in a whisper. "I don't want to be here. I could run away. You don't need me anymore. You are queen, and Tyrion. He would finally be what he was meant to be, Lord of the Rock.

Cersei frowned, "what of your children?"

Jaime looked at her once more. "You think I should stay."

Cersei nodded, "of course you should stay for Joanna and Minisa. This is your birth right; Casterly Rock is yours by law. Why should you go away? You need to think of them. You asked me for help. Let me help." She said.

Jaime agreed, "no running away."

"No." Cersei said and squeezed his hand.

Jaime and her took a walk by the beach and then went to the nursery after lunch. Jaime looked at his sleeping daughters. "They aren't very entertaining."

Cersei giggled, "well they are quite young."

She watched as Dany attempted to stand up by herself. "So this is the little Dragon." Jaime said as Daenerys scrunched her face and tried again.

Cersei smiled, "she is."

"Any signs of madness?" Jaime asked her.

Cersei frowned at him, "I know you are jesting but don't say those things. Dany is a lovely girl."

"Mamma, mamma." She babbled and crawled to her.

"You are letting her call you mamma?" Tyrion asked from the door. He carried two books with him.

"What else should she call me?" Cersei said and tickled Dany's fat belly.

Jon babbled to himself and then looked at Tyrion. "Does he call you mamma too?"

"Well, he is not saying words yet." Cersei said and tickled Jon for a bit.

Jaime and Tyrion looked at each other. Cersei sighed, "come out with it."

"Well, Jaime and I wondered. Stark does not seem the type to be forceful, why did you accept the children?" Tyrion asked.

Her brothers knew her well. Father and the rest of the world did not know how determined she was. "Jon's legitimacy was Ned's desire. I would not have people talk about me so I went along with it. Dany, well I feel in love with her when I saw her and it is safer to keep her close." Cersei said trying to give them some semblance of the truth. She could not very well tell them that they were all she had of Rhaegar.

Jaime was appeased but Tyrion kept looking at her, trying to find an ulterior motive. Her brothers did not know the depth of her love for Rhaegar.

"How can you not fall in love with her?" Cersei said as Dany raised her bottom and smiled goofily at her.

Jaime laughed at the babe and she giggled. "Well, she is pretty."

The twins woke up after a while. Ilsa came in and let her teats out for them. Tyrion gaped at her and then looked away. He was blushing and stammered something about books. He almost ran out of the quarters.

Cersei shook her head. She fed her children and let them play with their toys. Jaime glanced at his children. Cersei picked the twin to her right. Minisa, she wanted to say. "You get Joanna." She told Jaime.

"My queen, you have Joanna." Ilsa corrected her.

Cersei looked at the red headed baby, "How do you know? They are identical."

"Yes, I made a mark on her cloth. Yellow for Joanna, red, for Minisa."

Cersei laughed, "Smart. You may go Ilsa, go to my quarters. There is a small pouch for you and you may pick whichever jewel you like. Let the Lannisport merchants know that the queen gave you the jewels."

"Your grace is most generous." Ilsa said and picked and left.

Jaime picked up Minisa. Cersei taught him how to burp her. "You have to be gentle." She said. "Ned, was too rough on Jon and he cried once."

"I do not see Stark spending time with children." Jaime chuckled.

Cersei smiled, "he does. He spends at least an hour with them in the morning and some time in the evenings when he is done with council meetings."

Jaime looked at her, "Cerse, do you love him? How does it feel like?"

Cersei shrugged, "he cares for me. I don't love him like the songs say but he is my friend."

Jaime nodded and glanced at Minisa, "they look prettier than Lysa, do you not think?"

"I think they will be prettier, livelier and I think you will spoil them rotten. They shall be pampered little ladies." Cersei said with a smile.

"They will be and I will read them stories of knights and princesses." Jaime said while crying. "I don't want to be like him. I think it destroyed him. I think losing mother broke him forever."

Cersei tensed, "did he say anything?"

Jaime placed Minisa on her crib once more. Cersei did the same. She gave him time to wipe his tears away. He hated crying. She knew that, they were strong, they were Lions of the Rock.

"Not much, only that I should marry once more to give the girls a mother figure." Jaime said.

Cersei rested her head on his back, "Jaime, it will be fine." She said.

"I sure hope so." He said, "thank you for coming. I didn't think you would."

Cersei shook her head, "how could I not? You are my brother."

Jaime nodded and hugged her fiercely. "Cerse, I'll do better."


End file.
